but this new, bubbling awareness had the potential to leave her completely wrecked. She wasn’t seventeen anymore, with a lifetime of adventure ahead of her. Now, her heart wouldn’t just be broken, but shattered.
“Maybe a little? You do keep me on my toes, but I’m glad you’re here. I am. I love…”
Stop! Ugh. Not that word. Not the “L” word. Jane looked out the window over the sink, seeing the large bare maple that stood on the opposite side of her driveway. How did she express this without it sounding pitiable?
“Jane?”
“Shh. Let me think, okay?”
“Okay.” Danny picked up another serving piece and dried it, the motion of his hands steady and rhythmic.
“I do love that you’re here,” she finally muttered. “You confuse the hell out of me, but I’m happy you’re back home. Happy you’re in my life again. Like I said the other night, I’ve missed you.”
“I know. I was a lousy friend. I’m so sorry. I should have been here for you, especially after your dad died.”
“It was so long ago and your life was elsewhere.” She shrugged, not feeling bitter and angry although she probably should. “I wasn’t even a blip on the screen.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better,” he said, with a tone of disgust in his voice. “You were my closest friend. You were…everything, and I just walked away. I thought I was giving us room to breathe, but I think I was just a coward. It’s possible I still am.”
Jane turned off the faucet, keeping her eyes focused on the gray dishwater spinning down the drain. She was everything? Everything? What did he mean by that? When he kissed her after their dinner the other night, there was so much energy radiating off of him, she couldn’t untangle the feelings. The tenderness was unmistakable, but was there also loss and regret? If she did mean that much to him, cutting her off completely made little sense. Danny didn’t shy away from challenges; his life was proof of that. So, what was he afraid of?
“I think you’re too tough on yourself.” She took the dishtowel from his hands and dried her own. “It’s life. Things happen.”
“No. That’s an excuse. I have to own the fact that I screwed up. With my family, and you. My sister has been so welcoming. I don’t deserve it.” He turned, his body tight as he shifted his hip against the counter, facing her.
“You’re here now. Moving forward you can make different choices.”
He stared at her, his gaze intense and dark. He looked edgy, hard, almost a little dangerous, like he had a mission and nothing would deter him. His hand came up, and his fingers left a soft trail of heat and electricity on her skin. “Can I?”
Jane squeezed her eyes shut, the heat between them wrapping her up in a fantasy she dared not have. What if wasn’t a productive way to live. The tiny phrase was littered with heartbreak and disappointment.
“I think that’s up to you. Do what feels right.” As soon as she said it, Jane realized it sounded like an invitation, and maybe it was. Danny inched a little closer, settling a hand on her hip while the other cupped her cheek. His lips landed right at the corner of her mouth, leaving a barely there sizzle of electricity. Every nerve ending lit up like the Christmas lights strung all over town. The power in the kiss was in the tenderness of it, with his gentle, sweet ministrations making her dizzy. His touch was like a drug, his kiss a balm for her soul.
Never, even when she was married, did a simple kiss have the power to undo her. Something about Danny changed that. He applied gentle, but steady pressure, moving and teasing, drawing her essence into his own mouth. Jane felt breathless, dreamy. Without a doubt, her heart was losing its battle to keep him at a distance.
How had she gotten to be this age, a middle-aged woman, without knowing the joy of bonding with someone like this? Had she deliberately avoided this kind of emotional connection? Or had she just been waiting for Danny to come back to her?
It was clear, whatever the case, that Jane’s heart was in major trouble. The most surprising part was that she didn’t care.
Chapter Eleven
“Miss Jane? Is this a good snowman?” Austin Trebour was as cute a little boy as Jane had ever seen, with his big green eyes shining at her, but he worried way too