you a different way? Because I could totally understand that.”
“Don’t have to pray about it, I just know. God’s not looking to use me like that.”
The women looked at one another with raised brows.
“Kelli, this doesn’t sound right to me,” Cyd said. “Is it because of something from the past? And now you think God can’t use you? Because that’s exactly what Scott went through, and you see what he’s doing now.”
“That’s true,” Dana said. “To be honest, I didn’t think God could use him again either after what he did. An affair is so scandalous. I’m flat-out amazed by God’s grace and mercy, maybe more than Scott.”
Kelli reflected on that. Scott’s story had really touched her. “I hope it’s okay to ask, but what happened to the other woman? I’m assuming she was sorry. Do you know if God is using her now too?”
“Heather?” Dana rolled her eyes. “She wasn’t sorry about anything. She tried to get Scott back in bed after they were caught.”
“Um, before Dana gets worked up,” Phyllis said, “I think we’ll do a really fast detour and get back on topic. So . . . Kelli . . . the point was that there might be some parallels between your situation and Scott’s, as far as his thinking God couldn’t use him.”
“I actually do see a parallel.” She wasn’t sure how much to say. “I did some things I regretted too, the summer before I went away to college, and I was so ashamed I basically distanced myself from God.” She looked into their faces. “Today was the first time I’d been to church in years.”
Surprise registered on their faces. “I didn’t know,” Cyd said.
Kelli continued. “I wasn’t sure what to expect. I felt like it would take awhile to work my way back into God’s good graces, but it was like”—she flung wide her arms—“He just embraced me.” She shook her head. “And then listening to Cedric, Scott, and Pastor Lyles . . . It’s hard to believe, but I guess it’s true. For whatever reason, God uses people who don’t have it all together.” She felt emotion welling. “So I’m not saying He won’t ever use me. But in the area of music? No.”
“Okay, ladies, here we go,” the server said, helped by another who dished out half the plates. Kelli stared down at her pancakes, remembering the joy she’d once found in songwriting. She heard Phyllis praying over the meal and something about clarity and wisdom regarding Kelli’s situation.
“Well, then,” Stephanie said, pouring syrup over her pancakes, “seems to me this emergency session is right on time. You needed some intervention so you could stop leaning.”
“Leaning?”
“Stephanie recognizes the signs well,” Cyd said, “because she’s our biggest leaner.”
“Hey!”
Cyd cut into her stack. “It’s from Proverbs 3,” she said. “We made it a DF check. If one of us is trying to figure out what to do, we ask, ‘Are you leaning on your own understanding, or are you trusting God and acknowledging Him?’ If it’s the latter, the psalmist says God will make your paths straight.”
Kelli set her fork down. “I’ve never thought about it that way.”
Stephanie pointed her fork at Kelli. “There you go. DF to the rescue. I say we acknowledge God by asking right here and now— just to be sure—if He has plans for your music.” She lifted a forkful of pancakes. “And I don’t think this conference is a coincidence. Might be a quick way to see how He directs your path.”
“Why do you say that, Steph?” Phyllis took a bite of sausage.
“Registration closed months ago, remember? God would have to open a door just to get Kelli in. And if she gets in, she’s got to deal with real feedback on her music, from industry people.” She turned to Kelli. “If they’re not feeling your music—hey, you won’t hear another peep from me about it. We’ll just take it that the door is closed, like you said.”
Kelli’s insides were getting jumpy. “Where’s the conference being held?”
“It’s in Indianapolis this year.” Stephanie smiled. “After driving from Austin, a trip to Indy would be a piece of cake.”
“Kelli,” Cyd said, “we don’t want to push you into doing anything you don’t want to do. I think we’re just sensing that deep down, the dream is still there. And you’ve stuffed it for reasons that might not even be valid. I think it’s a great idea to pray and be sure . . . if you’re willing.”
Kelli could feel the