Chasing Him - Kat T. Masen Page 0,89
your own son is much greater.
Every time I stare into Andy’s eyes, I see my baby boy, Elijah. It hurts me every single day, and I can’t escape the grief nor the guilt for still breathing when my son is no longer given the chance.
I know you will take care of my grandson.
You were always meant to be in Elijah’s life and Andy’s mother.
You are the strength I wish I had instilled in me.
Mary Jean
I walk back over to Andy and gently lift him, not wanting him to see Mary Jean in this state. Julian grabs his cell and makes the necessary calls. A minute later, he walks outside the room and stands beside me, stroking Andy’s hair. His eyes start to flutter, and slowly, they open.
“Uncle Lex,” he mutters softly.
I smile at him, relieved and grateful to have him in my arms. “Hey, Andy, everything’s okay.”
He places his thumb into his mouth, but with his eyes wide in fear, he lifts his head and turns to face Julian. Reaching his arms out, he begins to cry, “Jay, I thought you were gone to live with my daddy in heaven.”
Julian motions for me to pass Andy over, and I finally let go.
Safely in his arms, he rocks him back and forth soothing him, easing his fears. “I was gone for a little while, but I’m here to stay. Okay?”
“Don’t ever go, Jay. Makes Mama sad and me sad.”
“I’m not going anywhere, buddy,” he reassures him.
He tells me to call Adriana, and instantly, I grab my cell. She picks up immediately and sobs into the phone as I tell her what happened. Begging to speak to Julian and Andy, I place her on speakerphone.
“Pooh-bear, it’s Mama,” she strains, attempting to control her voice.
“Mama, Grandmama said she misses Daddy. She said she is gone to see him,” he informs us innocently.
Adriana cries softly. “She did miss him, baby. I miss you. Uncle Lex and Jay will bring you home now.”
“Mama, I was scared Jay was going, too, but he said he will stay with us, Mama.”
“Julian, are you there?”
“I’m right here, Adriana.”
“I love you.”
The second Adriana expresses those three powerful words, I know I have no choice.
Julian’s expression is one of complacency, and I’d be an idiot not to see that.
My conscience battles with the good and the bad of it all, and if their love is as forceful as Charlotte’s and mine, there’s no chance in hell I can stop them, even if I try.
Andy nestles himself into Julian’s shoulder, and with ease, he repeats the words back to my sister.
“I love you, too. Time to bring your baby home to you.”
“Thank you,” she tells him.
It’s time to say goodbye as the sounds of the sirens come rushing around the corner, but Adriana quickly stops me. “Lex?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you for everything you do for me. I love you, too. Please come home safely to your family now.”
I struggle to end the call, and as I do, the weight which remains heavily on my shoulders is lifting at a snail’s pace, and it’s triggered by the look that Andy gives Julian.
The same look he gives me.
It’s of adoration, respect, and love.
I’m not immune to jealousy, and for once, I am putting my sister and her son before my own selfish needs as hard as it may be.
They deserve to be loved. Everyone deserves to experience love. Whatever it may be—fate, destiny—I no longer care. He will take care of them. I’ll make sure of that, and I finally take a step back and allow the universe to do its own thing.
“Listen, Edwards, I owe you. For getting rid of it before it became a problem,” Julian mumbles under his breath, careful that the cops can’t hear.
“Well, I owe you for saving my wife and baby. Call it even, shall we?”
He nods his head, and that was that.
I look into the sky and stare directly into the stars. “Brother, if you can hear me. I’m leaving it all up to you.”
And from that moment, Elijah will forever protect us.
That was his nature, and this is his calling.
The room falls quiet, and the only sound to grace us is Andy’s tiny snores. The night light is on, not wanting to frighten him with the dark. He is nestled between Julian and me as we struggle to get a grip on how emotionally draining this day has been. Not only is Andy back in my arms, but he’s also here between us.
Us.
With the faint glow allowing