make sure Nash is okay.
Kate: Of course, it’s understandable. Are you staying in a hotel?
Me: No, Olivia offered her couch. Will I see you tomorrow?
The response doesn’t come, the repeated checking of my phone to an empty screen. An hour later, I see it sitting there.
Kate: I’ll see you tomorrow.
Olivia lives in a one-bedroom apartment close to the airport. It’s small but has everything she needs considering she barely stays home when she’s working full-time. Her job as an airline stewardess has her flying across the country, which is how we reconnected.
Inside her bedroom is Nash’s crib. She places him down, informing me she’ll take a shower. I settle in the living room, opening my laptop, and trying to get work done since I want to stay another night to make sure he continues to recover. But as much as I try to concentrate, my mind drifts to Kate.
Darkness falls upon us quickly as Olivia and Nash sleep soundly in the room. I bury myself in work, the only thing I can do to clear my mind. With my phone on silent, not to wake them, I now notice the five missed calls from Morgan. In a panic, I dial her back, worried something has happened with Jessa related to the birthday party they attended today.
“What’s wrong? Is Jessa okay?”
“You let me walk into Charlie’s house without telling me your girlfriend would be there? Oh, sorry, is that fiancée? I’m not sure what I should call her.” Morgan fumes in an arctic tone. “Imagine my surprise when I see her sitting with our daughter?”
I attempt to keep my voice down not to wake Olivia and Nash. “Morgan, what are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about Kate,” she seethes, raising her voice. “You didn’t even give me the respect of telling me you were fucking her!”
“We’re not fucking. Will you calm down?”
“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down? Is that why you went to Paris? To go chasing after the woman you’ve been in love with our entire marriage? Tell me, Noah, did I ever have a chance with you? Or was she always the one?”
I keep silent, no fight left in me to argue with her. When it comes to women, Morgan and Olivia are on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Olivia isn’t one to argue. She’s very respectful of other people and communicates without drama. Morgan, on the other hand, is an emotionally-charged woman. A goddamn bitch when she wants to be.
“I figured you’d stay silent,” she sneers. “And you know what hurts the most? I did the right thing, Noah. I told you about Callum, then asked if it was okay to meet Jessa. I knew you were angry, so I gave you space to process. But you didn’t care. You let her sit with my daughter like they were best friends. Not only that, she had the audacity to call my daughter a liar when I questioned her. Goddammit, Noah, I’m her mother! How dare you allow that!”
“Morgan, I’ve been occupied, Olivia had—”
“Don’t talk to me about your personal life. I don’t want to hear about you marrying Kate and playing happy family or about the other women in your life. In fact, don’t talk to me. If you need to contact me, you can go through your lawyer, and don’t you dare think of stepping foot in my home to see your daughter.”
The line goes dead.
I bury my head in my hands, wishing this nightmare to disappear. No matter what I do, I can’t gain any control in my life. And just when I admit my feelings to Kate, begging her to be honest because I can’t go on living this lie like I don’t feel anything, her actions cause a bigger headache in my life.
Morgan has every right to be upset because, frankly, I’d react the same way.
With exhaustion weighing heavy on my shoulders, I shut down my laptop and lay on the sofa. I often thought the world would be a better place without me in it. Each day, I’m paying for my mistakes. The challenge of recovering is becoming harder with every breath I take.
Yet from the smallest of windows, I’ve experienced happiness again. Kate brought all that back into my life in just one weekend. But now, the reality is coming into full vision. Kate will never understand my lifestyle and the demands of being a parent. Despite Morgan’s earlier outburst, I don’t blame her, but no way in hell will