romantically. Why?”
“I…was just wondering.” Charli looked away, her own past sneaking into her subconscious and reminding her of things she wanted to forget.
“Sex isn’t an indicator of how serious a guy is,” Hailey said gently. “We’re allowed to enjoy sex without a commitment, although that’s fine if that’s what you want. Kane and I had a friendship we’d built on the phone while I was training for the Olympics. It was during hockey season so the Olympics itself was where we finally had a chance to meet in person. I wanted him, no matter what. If he decided not to pursue anything after we had sex, it didn’t matter to me. Obviously, I wanted there to be more with us, but it wasn’t mandatory. As women, I think we’re a bit more clued in to emotions and intimacy, but he came to see me when I was living in Boston before he knew I was pregnant. I hadn’t told him yet, so he was into me. And I can tell Miikka’s into you. He has the attention span of a gnat. The fact that he’s been spending time with you without the sex means something is there.”
“He’s a really nice guy,” Whitney added. “A little young maturity-wise, and kind of quirky, but beneath all that is a huge heart and a great friend. He’s not the kind of guy who’s going to break your heart. At least not over sex.”
“Live a little, girlfriend,” Amy told her. “Believe me, I wish I had the time to date someone like Miikka. Not him specifically, but in general.”
“You can go out on dates!” Hailey said, nudging her.
“Yeah? When? And with who? Most of the guys on the Blizzard are married. Miikka’s not my type. Logan’s too young. And Donovan just got divorced, so he’s on the rebound. No thanks.”
“What about the new guy?” Hailey asked. “Ryder’s hot.”
Amy made a face. “Total playboy, fucking all the groupies at the rink. No thanks.”
“What I’m hearing is that you’re picky,” Whitney interjected primly, her eyes twinkling, “not that there are no options.”
Amy lifted her middle finger in Whitney’s direction.
11
Luckily, the conversation moved away from Charli and Miikka’s budding relationship, but she’d thought of little else lately. Unfortunately, as wonderful as he was, whatever was going on between them brought back a lot of bad memories. Memories she’d worked hard to bury as far away and as deep as possible because they hurt so much.
She’d been in love twice before, but it was her high school sweetheart that had gutted her. Roy Lomond had simply disappeared. He’d joined the military and called her once during basic training, when he’d had a free afternoon. That was it. They’d talked that day and when she’d told him she was pregnant, he’d told her everything would be okay. He’d said he would come for her as soon as he could get leave. As soon as basic training was over and he got his first duty assignment. And then nothing. Not even a Dear Jane letter. It had never made sense.
He’d cut and run as if she’d meant nothing to him. He’d been her first everything and he’d turned his back on her, left her to handle a huge mess on her own. Then her conservative, religious parents had turned on her, and by telling her friends’ parents what she’d done, they managed to cut her off from her friends too. The only person who’d been there for her, albeit reluctantly, had been her grandfather. And even that was short-term. By the time she left for college, she’d had no one.
Circumstances had essentially forced her to give up her baby, and it had been the hardest thing she’d ever done. She’d cried for months after they took him away, and though she’d been promised he would have a good life, she still thought and worried about his happiness all the time.
Not that anything like that would happen again, but the fear lingered. The hurt lingered. It all sat just beneath the surface of her emotions, sneaking up on her when she least expected it.
Like tonight. In the middle of a hockey game.
Pushing all the negativity aside, she couldn’t wait to get to the family lounge to see Miikka after the game and ignore her melancholy again for a while. She was the first one out of her seat when it was over, and they’d won, which meant they still had a chance of making the playoffs. The bad news was that