Changed by Fire (Phoenix Rising #6) - Harper Wylde Page 0,149

punishing themselves?” The amusement dropped from his eyes as he studied me.

“There’s no other reason for you to hide in that closet.” I tried to keep my words gentle as I reached out to grasp his hands. “Not when there are rooms available. I know it hurts that a lot of people here still haven’t accepted you, but there are many who have. You’re not going to get through things any easier by being in a closet.” I glared at the offensive room—if it could be called that—as I added, “And by God, if you insist that living in a closet and sleeping on the floor is both necessary and okay, then I’ll assume you won’t mind when I take the closet down the hall.”

Gaspard shook his head. “No, my dear, that won’t be necessary.” He sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly. “I’ll take a room, Ciarán. A small one,” he added, his eyes on me as he smirked. “I won’t have a family or mates wanting for space when I’m all on my own.”

“I’m your family. So are my mates. Hell, you’re actually related to this one.” I hitched a thumb over my shoulder at Damien, reminding him gently that he wasn’t alone. Not truly. “And who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone,” I teased him.

“I’ll see to it,” Ciarán assured us. “If you’re looking for privacy, however, I can inform you that there are a few recently vacated rooms on the wing above that are cleaned and ready for occupancy. They will be unlocked, if you would like a chance to speak in a room rather than a hallway.”

“Thanks.” I shot him a look that was lacking the heat it should have. I was going to need to find a minute to talk to Ciarán, and soon. Even if I had to literally nail the bastard to the floor to keep him from misting away.

“My pleasure, as always.” Executing another silly bow, he poofed away.

“Let’s find a room then,” I suggested, heading for the stairs while Gaspard laughed lightly.

“You’ll never lack for amusement, son,” he said quietly to Damien.

“I’m lucky,” Damien whispered in return, the smile clear in his voice.

A knock at the first door I reached went unanswered, so I tried the knob. The door swung open into a simple, bare room. It was clearly not being used—nothing hung in the open closet, no toiletries sat on the counter, and the bed was perfectly made. It was the quintessential hotel room with an unattractive plaid spread at the ready.

“Now that you’ve found the privacy you’ve sought, how can I help you?” Gaspard inquired, settling into the uncomfortable looking, firm armchair in the corner. Fear swamped me again and his eyes lit with concern as he glanced between Damien and me.

“I want to try what you suggested,” I blurted out. “The emotion thing.”

Understanding flared to life on Gaspard’s face and he nodded. “You’d like me to pull the painful emotions from your memories.”

I bobbled my head side to side. “Yes and no. I want to try it with a memory. A single memory.” I held up a finger in emphasis. “When I see how that goes, we’ll move to… harder ones.” The last words were quiet as my eyes sought the floor.

“Are you comfortable sitting on the bed, Nix?” he asked me softly. “Damien can be beside you, it won’t interfere with what I’ll do.” He hesitated before adding, “If you’re willing, I’ll have Damien work with me. It’s high time he learned this skill himself.”

“Okay,” I agreed, slightly breathless. I settled onto the hard bed, my hands knotted in my lap. Gaspard pulled the chair up in front of me.

“Damien, sit beside her. Hold her left hand,” he instructed. “Nix, if I may hold your right? I apologize, but this is easier if I’m touching you.”

“It’s okay,” I murmured, as they each clasped a hand. “It’s… it’s not one of those memories.” If he had to be touching me to do this, I wasn’t sure how I’d handle him erasing the memories he referenced.

“If we’re doing this with just one memory, Nix, I need you to take all of your walls down and think about it as hard as you can,” Gaspard instructed. “Think of the way you package and send a memory or a thought to the guys. Feel it. Direct it. It needs to be at the forefront of your mind.”

I breathed deeply before following his direction. I’d been practicing holding my walls up for so long