Changed by Fire (Phoenix Rising #6) - Harper Wylde Page 0,121
quietly, her voice just as full of emotion as I was after every damn vision. The thought of living without her… without any of my brothers… it was inconceivable.
“Fuck, I love you, Nix.” I grabbed her wrist gently and tugged her, supporting her weight as she squealed. I guided her around my body and settled her onto my lap, nuzzling my nose into her hair and inhaling her scent. God, she was amazing. Tipping her chin so she was looking up at me, I drank in her beautiful face—dark brown eyes, the longest black hair, bow-shaped, pillowy lips I wanted to kiss until they were swollen and red. “Not all of my visions are nightmares,” I admitted. “In fact, there’s one I wish for every damn night when I close my eyes.”
Her fingers played lightly over the scruff on my jaw. I loved that she enjoyed the light beard I kept, never asking me to shave it off. In fact, I was pretty sure she enjoyed the light scratch and tickle of it every time I went down on her.
“Tell me.” She tapped my jaw, drawing the attention that was stuck on her luscious lips. “What’s the dream you wish for?” She hummed a bit of the Disney song, and an unwilling smile pulled at my lips. God, she was adorable.
Her gaze searched mine, her eyes flicking back and forth between my own. The mid-afternoon light streaming through the window was already golden as the sun set, haloing her and making her appear angelic. I memorized her like this, holding onto the picture of her on my lap, the curve of her cheeks, the shape of her eyes, and the interested gleam that shone from within.
“It’s amazing, Nix,” I murmured softly, afraid if I spoke too loudly it would break the moment. “All of us are together. You’re standing in the kitchen, teasing Damien about his cooking, while Theo refills another one of his kraken mugs. Joshua is setting the table. Ryder and Hiro are cuddled up in the living room, and I’m watching all of you. You have a baby on your hip and another tugging on your leggings, asking for more of Daddy Damien’s treats. I could live in that vision.”
Nix’s eyes were glistening by the time I was done, her smile watery. I reached up and brushed away the tears that spilled over the rims. “That’s a beautiful picture.”
“Really? I thought it might scare you… kids and all.”
“Not anymore.” Nix admitted with a shy blush. “It’s not that I didn’t like kids. I do like kids. I just wasn’t sure I wanted them. But lately,” --she gave a small shrug-- “my dreams have started to change. It’s like all my life I was just waiting… waiting to find the place I belonged. To have someone I felt safe with--or someones.” Nix smiled for a moment. “Now that I have those basic things, I can see so much farther into my future. I used to only focus on getting through one day at a time, and while that’s still a good philosophy to live by—especially in these uncertain times—it’s like I can finally see everything that’s waiting for me.”
My heart thudded in my chest, doing some funny shit that made it ache. I picked Nix up and settled her on the bed, grateful for the boxers I’d put on before I’d fallen asleep earlier. While I usually didn’t mind being naked—especially with Nix—this wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have with my dick hanging out.
Sucking in a breath, I let it out slowly as I paced to the window and stared out. I could see Nix’s reflection, and the way she stared at my back with her hands tucked under her thighs as she tried to restrain herself from coming after me, sensing I needed a minute to compose myself.
“Did I say something wrong?” she inquired meekly.
Fuck! I whipped around, holding my hand out to her. “No! God, never. Everything you fucking said was fucking perfect,” I growled, too many curses slipping out in my haste. I wished like hell I had Hiro, Damien, or Joshua’s ability to form eloquent sentences—to display their feelings so openly and easily. Everything I tried to say came out as a jumbled mess, too rough and unrefined, an insult rather than the compliment I intended.
“Then what? Why did you pull away?” Nix looked like she was a second away from wrapping her arms around her stomach.