Changed by Fire (Phoenix Rising #6) - Harper Wylde Page 0,114

followed me.

“No,” I grumbled.

“You will tell me, Ryder,” Hiro growled, prowling forward to corner me between his body and the cold, hard wall. “Whatever the issue is, we’ll work it out, but I’m not going to let it keep eating away at you. I’m not going to let whatever it is build until you end up with thoughts of leaving us—leaving me. I love you.” His words had fury blasting through me and I whirled on him.

“My problem is you, okay? I didn’t want to admit it, especially not in front of everyone else!” I seethed, my breath coming in pants as I glared at him. I knew the others were watching, but at the moment, I couldn’t be bothered to care. How dare he tell me he loved me? The words were a platitude, and I couldn’t stand it.

“You’re mad at me?” Hiro inquired in shock, taking a step back like I’d dealt him a physical blow.

“I can’t do this with you anymore, Hiro. It’s too much. And it’s my own damn fault for starting it. If I had just kept my lips to myself, you never would have known how I felt about you. But now I’ve put all of our futures at risk, and that’s not okay with me.” My heart crumbled in my chest, and I fought the urge to take a swing at him, to do something, anything, to distract myself from the pain.

Hiro cocked his head as he studied me. “You want to break up with me?”

I threw my hands into the air. “How can we break up when we aren’t even together? We play together occasionally to get Nix hot, that’s it. I can’t keep doing it. I can’t keep having feelings for you like this. I don’t know, I thought there was more to it. It was my mistake—a virgin’s misconception,” I spat out, guilt riding me hard. “I thought there was something between us, but now I realize there just can’t be. It’s not how it’s meant to be.” Emotions tore through me now, my mood flying up and down so fast I was nearly dizzy.

“Ry, I know this is fucked up. I know we aren’t what’s normal here.” His eyes were pleading as they looked into mine. “I don’t think you understand that as much as I love Nix, I love you too, Ry.”

I scoffed and his expression hardened. He grabbed my chin to keep me from turning away.

“Why don’t you believe me?”

“We’re brothers. Of course you love me. You love all of us.” I’d heard it often enough to realize that. And that was what was killing me. I loved him, not because he was my brother, but because he was Hiro. I loved his tenacity, his sense of humor, his confidence. I loved the way he took care of Nix, the way he was the calm to my storm.

Hiro hissed, tugging me forward until he could wrap an arm around my waist. “Yes, I love my brothers. You’re not just my brother though. The others are.”

Bitterness and a lingering jealousy boiled under my skin and coated my words as I said, “Yeah, I know. We’ve definitely moved past brothers. We slept together, but who cares? You’ve kissed Theo. You’ve messed around with Damien and now Joshua.” I shrugged, trying to push away the pain those words caused. I shouldn’t be jealous. I wasn’t resentful of Hiro’s time with Nix, but this… it felt different somehow. Nix was everyone’s mate, and I was born to share her. What I felt for Hiro, it was something separate, a beautiful, fragile bond that had grown unexpectedly between us. Now, though, I wasn’t sure what we could have. Not if it was going to cause a rift like this between us—between Nix and her true mates. It wasn’t fair to the others. Agony ricocheted through my chest, and I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, trying to get it under control.

Hiro’s gaze sharpened. “Ry, we’re part of a group. Things may happen when we’re together. It’s a part of it. I thought you were okay with that.”

“I am!” Well, I’d thought I was. His casual touches with Damien hadn’t bothered me too much. And his kiss with Theo had been kind of amusing. But then Joshua came into the picture and now… I just didn’t know anymore. I had no right to want him to myself, yet I did.

“Nix will always be the center of our group. She’s my center, just