Changed by Fire (Phoenix Rising #6) - Harper Wylde Page 0,105

ready to tell my mom or Molly though,” he murmured, ducking his head.

“What you said stays with us,” Nix told him firmly, casting a look around the room as if she dared any of us to object to that statement. Not that any of us would. “Thank you for sharing, Theo. I’m so sorry you still blame yourself. I’m sure he loved you very much.”

“I know he did. It makes it easier, in a twisted kind of way.”

Damien blew out a breath. “Maybe we should’ve gotten liquor for this.”

“It’s better without it,” I retorted. “I don’t want to share my secrets with you because I’m drunk. I don’t want to numb myself from your feelings. You’re sharing what hurts, and I’m damn well going to hurt with you.” Nix gave me a fierce smile of approval.

“Hiro’s right.” She settled back, though she kept a gentle hand on Theo’s knee, rubbing in comforting strokes. “I can go next.”

“No,” Damien interjected. “I want to.” He breathed deeply, rubbing his eyes. I knew this would be hard for Damien, which is why the whole idea stemming from him had surprised me. Damien always kept things to himself, unwilling to burden us. I knew this would be hard on him, probably far harder than he’d be willing to admit. “There are many pieces of me that I’ve never shared. I was always taught to hold my own counsel. Dad… he was good about that stuff. Now, though…” He shook his head. “That’s not what I want. I don’t want a mating built on secrets. I don’t want to keep turning away from all of you. This is a war. There’s a chance I could lose one of you or even all of you.” His voice broke, and he cleared his throat. “I’m not going to die the way my father did. I’m not going to die with everything left unsaid, with no one knowing who I really was.”

Nix crawled forward, pressing a kiss to his lips. “I’m right here,” she promised him. “You don’t have to share everything today.”

He smiled, though it was bitter. “Good, or we’d be up all night.” He clasped her hand and pressed a kiss to her fingers. “Just a piece then. When my parents were killed and we had to run, I was grieving them. The memories he passed to me, the explanation for why he did what he did—that it was all to keep me safe, to keep us safe—haunted me. Yet, there was a part of me that was glad he died. That they both did. For the secrets he kept, for his involvement in your pain, Nix, and for never having to know if he would have battled against me in this war. Because…” He grimaced, shaking his head. “Because I preferred that he died rather than lose any of you. If the Council had known what we were doing, it would have been one of you up there in front of me. One of my brothers, most likely, as they probably would have kept you, Nix, for horrible things.” His tone was gruff now, his Gargoyle hesitant with his words. “Losing my parents nearly killed a part of me, but if I had lost one of you, I don’t think I could have survived that.” His dark eyes glimmered with guilt as he looked up at us. “That’s my secret. I would have traded them for any of you. I’m cruel and selfish that way. They deserved more than that from their son.”

Nix shook her head. “Your parents did what they did because they didn’t want to force you to make a choice. They didn’t want your life for theirs. They wanted you to have a future, a chance at happiness. I don’t for one minute believe they would have appreciated you standing up for them and risking yourself. I think they knew exactly what your brothers mean to you, or Raphael would never have exonerated all of them from guilt. He knew what he was doing. Just like it would have killed you to lose one of us, it would have killed him to lose you.”

“She’s right,” Joshua agreed. “They taught you how to love the way you do—with everything you have. They would have known you couldn’t live without the others. Our parents, especially our dads, they wanted better for us than the life they chose to live. They wanted you to have this, Damien.” Joshua motioned around our circle, and Damien nodded,