That night, Mave walked to the clearing with the path and the tall mountain in the distance, unafraid of the death waiting for her when she inevitably failed her training.
This night, however, Kristanya just stood there as if she knew Mave wanted to talk.
“Something is on your mind,” the goddess pointed out, looking down at her sword, which she was using as a cane to keep herself propped up.
“I’ve been asked to take someone on as my nemari,” Mave said, looking at the black eyes of the goddess. This wingless Andinna female was the goddess of war, death, and darkness. She knew what a nemari was.
“Ah. Is there something you want me to say?”
“He’s innocent,” Mave said softly. “I don’t want to ruin that.”
“Is he innocent? Or is he just not as deep in the darkness as you are?” Kristanya raised an eyebrow.
“I’m not…” She had brightness in her life. She had four exceptional husbands who brought her light and laughter every day, but she knew what Kristanya meant. Mave could make herself so cold and dark where nothing could touch her. That place she lived in for so long in the pits still existed in her. She could still put it on like a mask and do what was necessary.
She could also come out of the darkness and live a beautiful life.
“He is a boy who watched his parents murdered by our people. We were his enemy for a long time, monsters bent on destruction and controlled by primal urges of violence.” Kristanya shook her head. “The only innocent in this world are the children, and many times, even they are touched by darkness, Mave. I am the goddess of it. I would know.” Kristanya didn’t move as Mave walked closer. “There’s balance in all things. Light cannot exist without darkness to purge with its power. But not even light can get rid of all the darkness. The Andinna are not perfect, and this male? He’s been touched by the darkness I gave our people. Don’t call him innocent.”
“But—”
“It does him a disservice,” Kristanya snapped. “He’s happy now, but do not think he is innocent. He’s been exposed to pain and hardship, death and terror, just as you have. And like you, he has darkness in him but has learned to come out of it and live a life in the light. That should be enough of a testament to his strength.”
“You want me to take him as my nemari,” she said softly.
“I don’t care whether you do or not, but I won’t have you lie to yourself about him and dishonor him by believing he isn’t capable of what you might ask of him. He might be a half-breed, but he is still Andinna. He might look Elvasi, but he is Andinna in his soul, even if it’s tarnished by his second bloodline.” Kristanya huffed indignantly. “Don’t ever try to write someone off like that with me. I could have done it to you centuries ago and almost did.”
“What?” Mave frowned. “What does that mean?”
“I watched countless Andinna come to me for their final judgment, all ended through your actions. I could have written you off as a traitor to our kind. It’s one of the reasons I was interested in you when you finally came to Anden, finally entering my domain where I could reach you. You’ve proven yourself to be something different. I saw that you were true to our people, and here you are, even more of a warrior than those you killed could have ever dreamed.” Kristanya reached out but stopped before she touched Mave’s cheek, her hand falling back to her side. Something flashed in her eyes, an emotion. Mave had only ever seen Kristanya angry. This was something different. “I don’t care if you take him as your nemari, but don’t discount him.”
“Thank you for the wisdom,” Mave said softly, lowering her head to the goddess.
Kristanya made a rude noise before the world went dark.
Mave woke up the next morning before dawn and headed for the field before her husbands woke up. She beat Emerian there, thinking about what Kristanya had said and the wisdom.
I’ll just need to find a way to make sure he can continue living in the light. I can’t let him be drowned in the same darkness I once was. I can’t.
He finally arrived right as the light began to brighten the sky, walking up to her slowly.
“Good morning, Champion,” he greeted, bowing his head.