live with herself, but she had to. She had to keep moving forward and hope what she was about to do would be anywhere near enough for both of them.
“Is there something you need?” he asked, his expression more distrustful than she had ever seen it. That was an impressive feat, one she wished she hadn’t accomplished. He’d come to Anden looking for a place to belong, and he had found it.
Until she turned away from him and gave him the coldness locked away in her heart. She had lashed out, and it was time to fix it.
“I leave at dawn. You and I need to speak if you’ll allow it.”
He moved, opening his door wider and lowered his head as she walked past him. They had given him a wonderfully big room as well. Maybe it was all they had in the temple.
“You told me to never see you again,” he whispered. “And I knew it would piss you off, but I couldn’t do as you asked.”
“Because you made a promise to my father,” she said with a sigh. “Thank you for upholding that promise to him. I’m here to free you from it.”
“Really?” He didn’t seem okay with it. She had hoped it would bring him some relief, but nothing about him seemed okay with her plans.
“Yes. I might die on this mountain, trying to do something no one else has ever done. I need to know you’ll continue finding your place in our world. And…in honor of that, tonight, I’ll give you your tatua.”
He walked by her, rubbing his face. “Are you?”
“Yes. If you want it from me, it’s time. You changed over our mission. Everyone has seen it. Right now, you are everything a male Andinna hopes to be—dedicated and honorable, willing to go to the edges of the earth for what you believe—”
“For a female,” he corrected softly. “A male Andinna is willing to go to the edges of the earth for his female.”
Her heart rate jumped again. “Excuse me?”
He turned back to her, looking annoyed, frustrated, and…disappointed.
“I…I naively hoped to catch your eye as your nemari. You asked me to look at females and try to find happiness, then Luykas dumped me onto you.” He laughed bitterly, leaning over to cover his face again. “I didn’t really understand what anything meant until you tried to turn me away.” He straightened, glaring at her when his hand dropped. “You were furious, and I decided I wasn’t going to budge. Even if you never wanted me, you were the Champion, my mentor, and the female I was going to dedicate my life to. Not just for your father, but for me because it all clicked at that moment.” He was yelling, and Mave realized she had vastly misjudged Emerian. Oh, he looked Elvasi, but the core of him was Andinna, just like Luykas. His fury at her was reasonable. She had hurt him, and now she was answering for it.
“You’re an unstoppable force, and I decided I would become an unmovable object. Even if you never turned my way, I would be there, watching your back because I promised, but I…I gave that promise because that was where I wanted to be. Not just for Kian, but for you.” He was breathing hard. She opened her mouth, but he continued. “Because that is my duty. To protect and defend the female who means something to me. Since I arrived in Anden, you were there. I watched you with your husbands and learned more from that than any lesson. Luykas gave me a chance. I look at him as an older brother I never had. That’s how they are. They give everything of themselves to you.”
“I never wanted you to…” She shook her head, unable to find the right words. “I never expected that from you, Emerian. I was supposed to train you. I was supposed to protect you. You were so…”
“Naïve,” Emerian growled. “Well, I’m not anymore. Now, you come in here and decide you’re done with me? Fine. You can send me away, but I’m always going to throw my body in the way of an arrow coming for you. I’m always going to do everything I can to keep you alive. I don’t need to be in your life for that. You can pretend I don’t exist. Fine. Maybe one day I’ll meet a female and settle down, but that won’t stop me from dying for you. I don’t know how to turn it