he had at one point planned to blow up. A little over three months later he died in the Weissers’ home.
* * *
Larry Trapp had spent his entire childhood hiding from his abusive father. Whether consciously or not, he spent much of his adult life trying to please that same father, who was also an avowed racist. In some strange way, emulating the thing that had hurt him the most gave Larry the strength he needed to go on. Until one day someone showed him another option.
Michael wasn’t the first person who tried to encourage Larry to change. The cops dragged Trapp down to the police station time and time again.
Back then, policing was all about punishment: “We’ve got to stop this behavior any way we can.” But the police never really stopped to think about why the problem was there in the first place. What was this guy dealing with that would make him act this way?
* * *
Decades ago, when Michael Weisser initially interviewed for the position with the temple board of directors, he spoke about the importance of core religious principles: love, tolerance, and nonharmful behavior. “?‘Love your neighbor as yourself!’ We’re not talking about our neighbor who is the same as we are. No, we’re talking about the neighbor who is different from us.”
Now, when asked why Larry changed his mind, Michael points to a similar idea.
No amount of pushing was going to get Larry to give up the Klan. But by extending Larry an olive branch and telling him that someone cared, Michael showed him that there was something more powerful than hate.
“Lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink,” Michael said. “But if they’re thirsty, they’ll drink. And so that’s the way it was with Larry.”
Larry didn’t change because Michael told him to. He changed because he came to that conclusion on his own terms. But Michael didn’t just stand on the sidelines. He reduced reactance, guiding Larry down a path Larry could explore himself.
“Kind of walking by his side like those footprints in the sand,” said Michael. “Not pushing him one way or the other but walking in a certain direction. He was coming along for the ride at first and then he took the lead for himself. And if I was the catalyst for that, then I think I did a good thing.”
As Trapp himself said: “I was one of the most hardcase white activists in the U.S. If I can have that change of mind or change of heart, anybody can.”
* * *
Michael changed Larry’s mind by reducing reactance. Rather than telling Larry what he should do, Michael opened up a line of communication and encouraged Larry to convince himself.
* * *
Reactance, though, isn’t the only barrier to change. Because even when someone’s anti-persuasion radar isn’t on red alert, they often seem attached to what they’re already doing.
As we’ll discuss in chapter 4, “Uncertainty,” people often have “neophobia”: they undervalue or avoid new things, because change often involves uncertainty. It’s unclear whether the new thing will be good or not.
But in addition to undervaluing new things, people also overvalue what they have already. The products and services they’re using, ideas and attitudes they’re holding, or programs and initiatives they’re participating in. And to understand why, we have to appreciate the power of endowment.
2. Endowment
A few years ago I had a problem with my phone. I’d had it for almost six years and loved it. It had all the features I wanted, fit nicely in my pocket, and was generally a great device.
But it was running out of memory. All the accumulated pictures and videos, combined with increasing app sizes, had consumed the available space.
Initially, this was no big deal. There were songs I never listened to and apps I never used, so I got rid of them.
Soon, though, unused files became harder to find. Every time I wanted to take a new photo, I had to start by deleting an old one. Which did I care more about: Aunt Jan and her birthday or the puppy’s first day in the snow?
Friends suggested I look into a new phone, so I did. The newer models had a faster processor, an extra camera, and lots of additional space. But they were also almost 20 percent longer than my old phone and wider as well. It was hard to hold one and type with the same hand and even harder to fit the thing in my pocket.
Was size the most important