able to drift away inside my head in between the worst parts, or will I lose even that make-believe escape?
Another shiver ripples through me. I force myself to breathe slow and steady. The chance isn’t gone yet. I have to focus on that and not on the terrors that might lie ahead.
As I uncurl myself, I reach toward the ceiling of my cage. I might not be able to walk in here, but I’ve kept myself strong however I can. Gripping the bars, I heft myself up and down, over and over, until a different sort of ache burns through my muscles.
It isn’t comfortable, but there’s something satisfying about knowing I still have some small say over what my body is put through. It helps that the exertion makes it hard to think about my future, now even more precarious than before.
I’m bicycling my legs in an attempt to work those muscles too when the sound I’ve been waiting for reaches my ears. The muffled but audible thud of what I assume is the building’s front door carries all the way to this room.
I flip into a crouched position, keeping most of my weight on my good foot. My captors never say much around me, but from the snippets I’ve gathered over the years, I’ve gotten the impression they have to leave this place to complete their plans. I don’t know who else might live in the building other than the three of them, but to the best of my knowledge, no one else here has ever seen me. Even if I run into another inhabitant, they might not realize I’m meant to be a prisoner.
If I want to regain my freedom, this is my best opportunity. Possibly the last opportunity I’m ever going to get.
I just have to say that strange word right.
I tip so close to the cage door that my forehead brushes the bars. Fixing my eyes on the latch, I dredge up my memory of my captor’s lilting pronunciation. My voice comes out in a whisper. “Fee-doom-ace-own.”
When I reach through the bars to rattle the latch, it doesn’t budge. I’m sure I said it exactly the same way Yellow did. But then, I’ve felt that way dozens of times before.
“Fee-doom-ace-own,” I say at the latch, letting my voice rise, shifting my inflection. “Fee-doom-ace-own. Fee-doom-ace-own. Fee-doom-ace-own! Come on!”
My heart is pounding. I grasp the bars and gather my composure. It’s not just being trapped in here that I’m scared of. I’m also scared of what will happen if I do get out. What I might face beyond this room. What my captors will do to me if they catch me. Every time I’ve tried this, that terror lurks right behind my resolve.
I can’t let the fear stop me. I can’t. Nothing could be worse than what I’ll face if the sharp-edged man gets his way.
Thinking about dragging myself around this place with its bone-white floors and walls, scrubbing them clean, enduring jabs and kicks all day long, my soul recoils. That tropical pool I dream about is out there somewhere. Even if it feels like a fantasy now, it’s a place as real as this one. Wouldn’t it be worth anything to get there?
I’ll scream at the lock until I’m hoarse if that’s what it takes. I can do this. I have to.
I train my gaze on the lock and pull all my determination into my lungs. “Fee-doom-ace-own. Fee-doom-ace-own. Fee-doom-ace-own. Fee-doom-ace-own!”
The final incantation crackles over my tongue like an electric shock. The hairs on my arms jump to attention, my mouth goes abruptly dry—and the latch twists beneath my desperate fingers.
I’m so startled I nearly choke on the little saliva I have left. Breath held, I apply more pressure, and the latch turns all the way. The door squeaks open at my nudge. The way is clear.
I’m free. Of the cage, at least. Oh my god.
In that first moment, my body locks in place. I clench my jaw and tug the scratchy fabric of my blanket around me in a makeshift cloak. I ease out through the opening, first my head and shoulders, then a shuffling step—
A thump and a shattering sound reverberates through the room’s ceiling, and I flinch. Panic seizes me.
They’ve come back. They’ve come back early, and they’re angry.
The thought has barely passed through my head before voices filter through the door. Terror blanks my mind. On pure instinct, I yank the cage’s door closed and throw myself to the back of the space,