am.
Closing her eyes had been a mistake, because it cast her into an instant flashback. Dark hallway, realizing it was his body with which she’d collided. Those big, callused hands moving with such delicious care over her. It had been ages since anyone had really touched her, and no one ever had quite like that. Savoring instead of demanding. He wasn’t here now, but she could still smell him, soap and something muskier. Man. Aroused man. She’d known almost instantly that he was without ever feeling his erection.
But she’d wanted to. Oh, she’d wanted to.
Lia told herself surprise explained why she hadn’t stepped back immediately, excused herself and gone on to the bathroom. Why she’d stood there letting him grope her.
Surprise didn’t explain why she’d been unable to resist temptation when he’d pressed her hands to his hard, muscled chest. But how could she resist, after seeing him several times shirtless when he roughhoused with the boys, after watching him walk with that long, smooth, purely masculine stride? She hadn’t been able to stop herself from watching him, sometimes surreptitiously, drinking in every detail of his lean, strong body, the flash of gray eyes, the occasional lightning surprise of a laugh.
Lust. Only lust, she told herself desperately, and knew she was lying. Maybe if she’d never seen him with the boys, she wouldn’t have fallen in love, but she had.
And he would disappear from her life as completely as he would from Walker’s and Brendan’s, with as little warning.
It was all she could do to smile when one of the boys called out to her.
They arrived home to find Conall on the porch, talking on his cell phone. When she reached him, he said, “Let me call you back,” and slid the telephone closed. His gaze flicked over all of them. “You went swimming?”
“Yeah! Lia said we shouldn’t wake you up. And you probably wouldn’t go anyway,” Walker said. “But I wished you had.”
“She’s probably right, I couldn’t have gone. I shouldn’t be away from the house for long.”
“In case something happens.” Brendan nodded solemnly.
“Right.” He ruffled the boys’ hair and smiled at Sorrel. “Have fun?”
“It was okay.” She scuttled past, head down, and vanished into the house.
Conall looked after her with surprise Lia shared. Had Sorrel felt shy because she hadn’t put a top on over her bathing suit? She sometimes seemed so normal—interested in boys, insecure about her appeal, giggly. But Lia couldn’t forget that she was also a child who had been sexually abused by a man she should have been able to trust. She had a long road ahead of her before she could feel secure in a romantic relationship. If she ever would be able to. Conall was blatantly male. The real surprise was that Sorrel could ever relax with him.
“Lunchtime,” Lia told the boys. “Why don’t you go get changed?” When they’d gone in, she said, “Sorry if we interrupted your call.”
“You didn’t.” He hesitated. “Lia…”
“If this is about last night, don’t worry. Nothing happened.”
His dark eyebrows rose. “Nothing?”
“Nothing important,” she said firmly.
He absorbed that, his eyes flickering. “You know I’m attracted to you.”
“And I know it’s not a good idea to go anywhere with it. I have children in this house. It’s important that I set a good example for Sorrel especially.” She was pleased at how brisk she sounded. “Besides, I don’t do one-night stands, or two-week stands. My emotions have to be involved.”
Idiot that she was, Lia desperately wanted him to say, Don’t you feel anything for me? Because I do for you. Can’t we find out where it takes us?
Instead, muscles flexed in his jaw as he stared at her. After an appalling length of time, he nodded. “I hadn’t actually suggested anything like that.”
“But you would have, wouldn’t you?”
His face was particularly devoid of emotion. “Maybe.”
“Well, then.” She reached for the screen door handle.
“Wait.” Was that a thread of desperation in his voice?
Slowly she turned back.
“That was Niall on the phone. My brother?”
As if she wouldn’t remember. Lia nodded.
“He wants us all to get together again. He said Desmond really enjoyed the boys.”
“Are you asking for my permission to take them somewhere?” How should she feel about that?
“No.” He took a deep breath. “I’m actually wondering how you’d feel about having them all out here. I know that’s asking a lot of you, but I imagine Rowan and Jane would bring some of the food and you’ve got a good place for it.” He was talking faster than usual.