hardwood, and a short-furred brown bear appears next to Toby. “You want to go for a walk?”
Rufus barks, and I feel the bass of it in my gut.
“Say his name, pat your thigh, and tell him to heel,” Toby tells Tess. “He’ll stick right by you.”
I eye the dog nervously. I’ve only been with him around Toby. “Um. Do we need a leash?”
“Nah. A cat could run in front of you—unless you tell him to go, he’ll stay on your heel. I paid a shitload of money in dog training, but it’s worth it.”
“And if someone makes trouble?” I ask.
He laughs, a morbid chuckle. “You call me, and we get rid of the body.”
“Oh.” I giggle, inappropriately. “Wait. Can you really do that?”
“I’m a deputy DA, sweetheart. Yeah, I can do that.”
I pat Rufus on the head. “Good boy, Rufus. Nice pup.”
Rufus barks again, and it startles me even though I’m expecting it. He’s got a big doggy grin, happily waiting for the walk.
We go slow, talking about less heavy things; as promised, Rufus walks next to Tess’s heel as if tethered there by an invisible leash, exactly one step behind and to the right of her—he’s tall enough she can rest her hand on his shoulder as they walk, and I notice his eyes are constantly roving, his nose sniffing, alert, watchful.
Tess walks me home, takes me to my door. She hugs me. “When it’s time to go to court to end this whole shitshow, you’re gonna go with me, right?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for all the Josh in California.”
She holds my arms. “Nads…”
“I’ll let you know when I know anything. But for now, if you were to suddenly develop an urge to pray, I wouldn’t mind a few prayers.”
She snorts. “Maybe we should go to church together this Sunday.”
“‘Dear God, I’ll go to church at least once if you promise to perform a miracle for me.’” I roll my eyes at her. “Not sure that’s how it works.”
“Worth a shot?”
I nod, suddenly exhausted. “Yeah, maybe it is.”
Another hug. “I love you, Nads.”
“Love you too, Tess-icles.”
When I go inside, Adrian is still in his office. Click-click-click, goes the keyboard. There’s a cough, a wet one, and I’m not sure if it’s him throwing up or coughing up blood, but it sounds awful. A groan.
“Adrian?” I call, through the door. “I’m home.”
“Hiya, babe.” He cracks open the door, leans in to kiss me. “Have a good time?”
I shrug. “Not really that kind of a party, but it was good to see Tess.”
He’s so pale, so thin. His cheekbones stand out more now. Our conversation over that bowl of stew was a month ago, and there’s no denying something is physically wrong.
His eyes are haunted. He’s working all the time. Sometimes I come home from work and he’s gone. Or I wake up and he’s left before me. I don’t ask where he’s going, but I know I’m going to find out soon.
I can feel it.
And I don’t want to know.
I have to know, but I don’t want to.
Panic burns hot, deep down.
He pulls me inside his office, wraps me up in an embrace. He’s as strong as ever, it seems. He grips me fiercely. “I love you,” he whispers.
“Tell me.”
“Soon.” A sigh. “Soon.”
“When?”
He touches his forehead to mine. Kisses my hair, my temple. Then reaches back and picks up something off his desk. “We’re going on vacation.” A seeming non sequitur.
He hands me two first-class tickets to Paris.
“Paris?” I want to be excited, but fear is what I feel.
He nods. “Paris, for a month.”
“A month?”
He winks at me. “Pack light. You won’t need much clothing.”
I roll my eyes. “We’re not going to fly all the way to France to spend the entire time fucking in the hotel room.”
He kisses my temple. “No, we’re not. Not the entire time, at least.”
“A month. I’ve saved up a bunch of sick days, but…”
“I’ve already worked it out with your boss. It’s covered. You have three weeks off, paid, the fourth used as sick days.”
“Sneaky, sneaky,” I laugh, and lean against him. “Just come to bed, Adrian. Please?”
He glances over his shoulder at his laptop, open, the blue-white light illuminating the otherwise dark room. “Okay. Bed, then.”
I smirk up at him. “I’ll make it worth your while.”
He palms my butt. “You always do, my love.”
“Ah, the old ass grab. The most romantic move in any man’s repertoire.”
We tease each other all the way upstairs, and my heart is in it, my body is in it,