with whipped cream appeared magically before her.
Whipped cream was a good sign.
Allie shot the drink back, sighing as the sweet liquid went down. That was good.
“You like a good blow job once in a while?” Matt asked with a wink.
“Of course,” she said, winking back. Or at least she thought she winked. She might have blinked at him instead. She giggled and Matt laughed.
“Josh is a lucky guy,” he said.
Yeah, Allie thought. Josh was a lucky guy. She was a catch.
She stumbled as she turned and started back for the dance floor.
“Whoa, babe.” Crystal caught her by both elbows. “You okay?”
“I’m great!” Allie announced. She was sure her words sounded slurred only because it was so loud in here. “I’m getting married tomorrow!”
Crystal laughed. “I heard that somewhere.”
“And he’s the best,” Allie insisted. She pivoted and grabbed a beer from the waitress as she passed. Allie hated beer. But she was more afraid of the good-feeling-I-love-Josh buzz wearing off than she was of the taste of the beer.
“He is, definitely,” Crystal agreed.
Allie drank, then shuddered, then spread her arms wide. “Gavin is the only man I’ll ever want.”
Crystal froze, her eyes widening. She was still holding onto to one of Allie’s arms, which was fortunate because Allie felt a little off-balance.
“Al?” Crystal said, getting closer so she could lower her voice. “What did you just say?”
Allie frowned at her. “I said Josh is the best.”
“And then you said Gavin is the only man you’ll ever want.”
Allie shook her head. “No. That’s not funny.”
Crystal squeezed her arm. “I know. It’s really not funny. What are you talking about?”
Dammit. She should have never pulled that letter out last night. Allie closed her eyes and groaned. She’d been so pissed at him, so hurt. Her mom had died, it was absolutely the blackest time of her life, and Gavin hadn’t even called. He certainly hadn’t showed up. He hadn’t done a damned thing.
Then two weeks after the funeral she got a letter. Handwritten. Seeing his writing again had made her almost crack. She’d been holding everything together just fine. She hadn’t cried, she hadn’t broken down, she hadn’t thrown anything, she hadn’t told anyone to just leave her the fuck alone and quit asking if she was all right. She’d been composed and calm, she’d gotten everything taken care of, she’d gotten everyone taken care of.
She’d been fine. Until that letter came.
She’d almost lost it.
Instead, she’d read it once, folded it up, stuck it in her bedside table under some old CDs and a box of stationary, and she’d forgotten about it.
Except that wasn’t true. She’d pulled it out three times. She’d put it back without reading it twice. But last night she hadn’t been able to resist. She’d read it. Four times.
And now he was so on her mind that she was screwing everything up. Of course.
“I didn’t mean it,” she told Crystal, shaking her head.
Allie immediately regretted that. Her head swam and she grabbed Crystal to keep from tipping over. She should have worn flats tonight instead of the high-heeled boots.
“Allie, you just…you can’t be thinking about him,” Crystal said. “What about Josh?”
“It’s normal for people to think about their exes,” Allie told her, hoping it was true. “We’re getting married. That’s a huge deal. It’s natural to think about your past relationships. I bet Josh is thinking about Devon.”
Devon Grant was Josh’s most serious ex. He’d been completely in love with her. If she would have been willing to move to Promise Harbor he’d be married to her right now. For sure.
Devon Grant.
She was actually perfect for Josh.
“Even if he is, he’s probably not announcing it to the bar. You need to take it down a notch,” Crystal said with a frown. “Let’s go dance.”
Allie went along, mostly because Crystal was still holding on to her and Allie wasn’t sure she could stay upright on her own. She drank more of the beer and liked that it was bitterer than the blow job or the pink stuff. She was feeling a little bitter herself.
Crystal was mad because she liked Josh. Everyone liked Josh. Josh was the best. He was a catch and they’d be very happy together. Looking at Josh Brewster over the breakfast table every morning for the rest of her life was not exactly a hardship. He was very good looking, had a killer smile and would be good to her.
He’d never cheat on her—she knew that. Josh always did the right thing and not cheating on his