buried in his hands as he continues to cry.
“GET ME OUT OF HERE! Why are you doing this to me? I’ve been nothing but nice to you! Please don’t leave me down here—it’s filling with water! SOMEONE HELP ME!”
“No one can hear you scream. Just like no one ever heard me scream for thirteen years.”
I cry out as the pain in my head gets worse and my hands tangle through my hair close to the scalp, tugging and pulling to make it stop.
“My name is Ravenna Duskin. I’m eighteen years old, and I live in a prison,” I whisper.
“STOP IT!” my father suddenly screams.
I glare at him, knowing I’m right back on the edge of that cliff. I thought I was falling before, but that was just a small jump. This time when I take that final step, I’m going to crash when I hit the bottom, breaking into a million pieces that will never fit back together.
“My name is Ravenna Duskin. I’m eighteen years old, and I live in a prison,” I say again, louder this time.
“STOP IT!” my father shouts once more. “REMEMBER, DAMN YOU! LOOK INSIDE THAT HOLE AND REMEMBER!”
I’ve always hated Tanner and Claudia Duskin. I hated them for giving me away and I hated how Dr. Thomas thought it was a treat for me to hear stories about them and their lives—lives that I’d been removed from. He taught me about the prison and he’s the one who told me about Tobias. I knew almost everything before I came back here, dead set on getting my revenge. My plan was in place but in order for it to work, I only needed to learn a few more things.
“Aren’t we finished with all the questions? I’m pretty sure you now know more about me than anyone else in the world.”
“You’re right. I think I know everything I need to about your life and the person you are. I think it’s time for that trip down to the basement that you promised me.”
No, no, no. This isn’t right. It can’t be. The walls of this prison aren’t just whispering the secrets they’ve hidden, they’re screaming the truth, and it’s bleeding out of them, dripping down the stones and covering the floor. I was wrong. The words I wrote in my journal were all wrong. The walls might have seen everything, but the truth that will destroy me is really buried in the floor.
“My name is Ravenna Duskin. I’m eighteen years old and…”
My voice trails off as my eyes slowly move away from the man who continues to sob a few feet away. They move across the stone floor at his feet until they stop at the edge of the hole.
“The men are coming tonight to fill this in. Oh God, what do I do? I can’t let them see this. They can’t come down here. I’ll just cover it up. I’ll cover it up and I’ll pretend like it never happened. It’s okay. Everything will be okay. Ravenna is fine and everything will be okay.”
I hear my father’s words so clearly in my head that I have to glance back at him to make sure he isn’t really speaking. I can still hear the thunder booming around the prison while he spoke like a madman, pacing around this room and making a plan I knew would never work. Ravenna would never be fine. Ravenna would never be okay and he only had himself to blame.
“My name is Ravenna…”
I can’t make the rest of the words come out. They won’t come out because my eyes have moved back to the edge of the hole. The hole that is no longer wide open and a danger to anyone who comes down here. I stare at the large piece of wood that covers it, knowing there was no point in my father covering it up. You can’t go back in time to fix your mistakes, just like he said. Throwing a cover over it and pretending like it never happened won’t make it so.
It happened. I made sure it happened and my plan was executed perfectly. I had no regrets, no remorse. It made me feel alive for the first time in my life.
“I see it in your eyes, little girl. I can feel it in the air. You like the way it makes you feel, don’t you? You need it just to breathe, and you want it just to feel alive.”
Leaning my body forward, I get on all fours