This Burns My Heart Page 0,42

front of her—she knew he was just trying to unnerve her.

“Go take care of your own husband, ajumma,” barked Chul-Moo. “Before he starts wandering around seeding other women’s babies.”

He spread a mat on the floor and lay down, ignoring Jae-Hwa as she packed her things.

“I can assure you she’ll be treated very well at my parents’,” said Soo-Ja drily, unable to hide her contempt as she stared at him. “Since I’m sure you’re very concerned about your wife’s well-being.”

“Jae-Hwa, quit this nonsense and come over here,” said Chul-Moo, ignoring Soo-Ja.

Jae-Hwa shook her head defiantly. But she also began to hesitate as she knotted the edges of the comforter together, her clothes packed inside but almost too heavy for her to lift. Jae-Hwa rested her hands over the silk cover. She could see an area where the fabric had ripped, revealing the thick, curdled dust fibers that served as padding.

“Jae-Hwa!” Chul-Moo growled again, and Soo-Ja could see the fear rising in Jae-Hwa. His voice sounded like a lion’s, low and guttural. “Wherever you’re thinking of going, they’ll grow tired of you after a while, boring woman that you are who can’t cook, and then you’ll come back here on your knees, begging for me to take you back, and by then I’ll have had such a long rest, my hands will be ready for a spectacularly vicious beating. Better not leave at all and spread out the beating over time, so you can take it little by little instead of a big beating all at once.”

Soo-Ja was ready to tear the few remaining hairs out of his head. “Jae-Hwa deserves better than you. How can you speak to her like that?”

Chul-Moo got up from the mat and pointed a finger at her. “Be careful now. You may be a guest in my house, but guests in my house, they have no rights!”

“And what are you going to do? Are you going to hit me?” asked Soo-Ja as sharply as the edge of a knife, her voice rising with every syllable. “See what the police will say, you hitting another man’s wife!”

Chul-Moo hesitated, though the anger still gleamed in his eyes, and Soo-Ja could feel it sting her like a hot fork.

“Jae-Hwa, can’t you see your friend is envious of what you have?” asked Chul-Moo, sounding much more gentle now. “Yes, I may get angry with you sometimes, but what happens afterward? What happens after you stop crying and I comfort you? Nobody sees that part of things, when you open up to me like a happy flower and giggle. You can tell just by looking at your friend that she doesn’t get the same kind of love from her own husband. She doesn’t want you to be happy, so she comes here to meddle and take you away from the only man you have.”

Jae-Hwa, whose head had been bent down while her husband said this, finally looked up. She seemed wan, weightless, colorless. Soo-Ja knew what would happen if her friend stayed there. She would become one of those ghost women in the village with dead eyes and hunched shoulders.

“Jae-Hwa,” said Soo-Ja, holding her hand. “There is a better life for you. I can’t prove it, you just have to believe me. But there is a better life for you. Not everyone is mean. I’ve seen enough beauty and kindness in the world to know that not every man is awful to his wife. I believe there are good men out there. Please believe me when I say this.”

Soo-Ja watched Jae-Hwa drop her bundle, and she knew then that her friend wouldn’t be coming to her parents’ house with her. She had failed. She could see from the corners of her eyes Jae-Hwa’s husband’s quiet jubilation, along with a hint of fear, as if he knew how close he’d been to losing his wife that night. But such nuances didn’t matter. Jae-Hwa was staying, and that was the end of it. All Soo-Ja could do was pick up Hana, waiting at her parents’ house, and return home.

Soo-Ja held Jae-Hwa in her arms for one last time, and as their cheeks brushed past each other’s, she could feel the moistness under her own eyes. She wiped them quickly and then nodded, resigned to leaving Jae-Hwa behind. Why did she feel so much sadness for her, when her own life was in shambles, when she herself was not that much better off? Soo-Ja wondered.

Is that the real reason I wanted to save her?