This Burns My Heart Page 0,132
her disappointment, as this felt a bit anticlimactic. No message from Yul, no final good-bye. Soo-Ja nodded and went back to work, and things might have stayed that way—calm, placid—if Eun-Mee hadn’t burst into her life once again, for the third and final time.
Eun-Mee came the very next day, unannounced. She did not look as well put together as she normally did—her hair hanging long with no headband or pins to support it. Even her clothes were somewhat middle of the road: a purple shirt with a large collar that hung almost as low as her chest, creating a V-neck, with the collar white and blue in diagonal stripes, matching the stripes on her skirt. And Soo-Ja did not notice this at first, but when Eun-Mee placed it on the counter, Soo-Ja saw that Eun-Mee had the envelope she’d given to Hana to deliver to Yul.
“Your daughter dropped this off at my house, didn’t she?” Eun-Mee asked, staring at Soo-Ja across the counter.
Soo-Ja closed her cash drawer and gave Eun-Mee the neutral look she reserved for difficult guests. “It’s for Yul.”
“You know Yul doesn’t live at the house anymore. You have a lot of nerve leaving this for him.”
Soo-Ja took the envelope from her and looked at it—its edges dirtied and worn-out—turned away, in limbo. By seeing its seal intact, she knew it had not been opened.
“Don’t worry, I didn’t open it,” said Eun-Mee. “I have no interest in reading your pathetic love letters.”
“What did you mean when you said that Yul doesn’t live at your house anymore?”
Eun-Mee did not answer immediately. Instead, she simply stared at Soo-Ja, as if in disbelief. “Don’t pretend you don’t know that we separated. I’m sure your husband told you all about the scene I made.”
“My husband?”
“Yes. When I came to the hotel after Yul left me. I thought he was staying here.”
“When was this?”
“The week after Seollal.”
“The week after Seollal? But only the week before, we had tea at your house—”
“Yes. Who’d think that would turn out to be a happy memory compared to what came later.”
“And Min knew about your separation?”
“Yes. I made him open every room in the hotel, even the ones occupied by guests. But Yul wasn’t here. He was at a different hotel. He told me when I saw him again, when he came back to pack things.”
“Eun-Mee, I don’t think we should have this conversation here. Do you want to come into my room?” Soo-Ja asked her, pointing inside.
“I was about to suggest that very same thing,” said Eun-Mee.
Soo-Ja called out for Hana and asked her to watch the front desk. When Hana came out, a bit out of breath, Soo-Ja saw Eun-Mee caress Hana’s chin lightly, as if she were a pet. Hana flinched a little, though her attention was immediately distracted by the envelope on the counter.
“I’ll explain to you later. Just put that somewhere safe,” said Soo-Ja.
As they walked to her room, Soo-Ja thought about Min. Eun-Mee’s story confirmed Soo-Ja’s suspicions that his decision to move to America had not come out of thin air—Eun-Mee’s actions must have given Min his sense of urgency. Min had hoped to keep her away from a newly separated Yul. To this day, Soo-Ja still didn’t know exactly what had transpired in her absence, only that one day Min and Hana were in Seoul, and the next they were in America.
Soo-Ja slid the paper door open and led Eun-Mee inside. The room still had some traces of Min in it. Eun-Mee sat on the floor, and once she had moved some padded blankets and mats out of the way, Soo-Ja sat across from her.
“So you’re saying you didn’t know about Yul leaving me?” Eun-Mee asked, sitting cross-legged on a mat.
“No, Eun-Mee. I really didn’t. I’m very surprised to hear it. He didn’t tell me that when I saw him.”
“I’m not sure if I believe you,” said Eun-Mee. “I wonder if this isn’t part of some plan you hatched.”
“You’re the one always making plans, Eun-Mee. Me, I don’t look too far beyond the present moment. I can’t afford to.”
“So I’m supposed to act surprised when, by sheer coincidence, any day now, you happen to leave your husband, and find yourself conveniently unattached?”
“Eun-Mee, I can’t leave my husband. My husband has left me.”
“He left you?” she marveled.
“Yes.”
“Just as Yul has left me. So we’re going through the same thing then, experiencing the same pains and sorrows?”
“I suppose. It is a bit disorienting not to have Min anymore. I’ve been talking to