into Nancy. She sent me to get the highball glasses.”
Fern looked at me like I’d grown another head.
“Is she wrong, or something? You don’t have the glasses?”
“No. No. They’re right here,” Fern stepped over to her kitchen where an old cardboard box sat on the counter. “Give me two seconds and I’ll help you.”
“It’s one box, I can take it.” God, did I sound like a jerk. What I needed was her on my side. I just didn’t know how to do that. How to gather people toward me rather than push them away.
I braced my hands on the counter. “I’m sorry.”
“I understand. Old habits…between us. We’ve never been very good at talking to each other.”
Right. All we had was sarcasm and bitterness.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Remarkable how difficult this was. “You asked about Jennifer.”
I heard the soft huff of her exhale. “Yes?”
She was still beside me, smelling of shampoo and a shower. I didn’t look at her. Couldn’t…or I’d find some reason to not do this. I’d fall back into anger and all the memories of how much she didn’t like me. And how much I didn’t like her. I would tell myself, as I always did, that I was better off just doing this myself.
“She’s in trouble?” Fern said in her firm voice. Army nurse at the ready.
“She is.”
“How bad is it?”
“Really…really bad.”
Fern put her hands on my shoulders and turned me toward her and I let her, with a token amount of resistance. Barely trying. “Olivia,” she whispered. “Tell me what’s happening.”
Her using my name—my real name, the name my dad gave me and I hadn’t heard in forever—made it easier. Smoothed the way for the story I had to tell.
I explained about the diner and losing my job. Jennifer’s job at the mall and how it wasn’t enough to live on. Fern stood three feet away from me, her arms crossed over her chest and I stared at the corner of the cardboard box, stained and wrinkly.
I told her about going out into the woods and joining the group there.
“No,” she breathed.
“And then I realized what they were doing in those trailers.”
“Drugs?” she asked point-blank, like I was the only fool who could be surprised by such a thing.
“Meth.”
“And what happened?”
“I tried to get Jennifer to leave. But she’d had enough of moving around. She wanted to stay put. She was mad…mad at me. Mad at everyone and she wouldn’t come.”
“So you left her there?”
Oh, how carefully she tried to keep the horror out of her voice, but I could hear it. “I didn’t have a choice. I left her there and planned to go back and get her. But he moved the camp every time someone left. And I thought I’d be able to follow him and find it but—”
“He was smarter than you thought?”
“Yes. And I’ve been trying to find out where the new camp is.”
“How?”
I explained the strip club and the drug deal. Zo and the bikers. Every word that came out of my mouth seemed more and more ridiculous.
“Oh my God, Olivia…”
“It was the only plan I had.”
“And now?”
“Lagan trusts Max. I believe at some point he’s going to get in touch with him. And then…”
“You go charging into the wilderness armed with what? A fake badge, a gun, and your tits?”
Don’t, I wanted to say. Don’t do that. But it wasn’t far from the truth. And I had to look that in the eye.
I could not save my sister by myself.
“That’s…that’s why I’m coming to you.”
“Me? You need police or the FBI.”
“I need someone I can trust.” I explained the pills and what might happen if police came to ask questions at the camp.
Fern stepped back and put her hand to her forehead, squeezing the skin. “We need to talk to Eric.”
“Yes,” I said with a sigh.
She glanced down at her watch. “He’ll be back later this afternoon,” she said. “I’ll text him and we can set up a time to talk.”
The relief was rather profound. To have all the weight off my own shoulders if even for a few minutes was like taking a deep breath after years of panting. There were tears on my face now and I turned away and scrubbed at them with my hands, feeling stupid.
“Olivia,” Fern breathed and stepped closer.
“It’s been a lot,” I said, trying to laugh. “It’s just…I mean I know it’s my fault but the last year…” I was done crying. I pulled in a deep breath,