when I was hurt – that’s all.’
‘You got hurt?’ Markes glanced at her and his expression became halfway apologetic. ‘I didn’t know. Was it Brand?’
She nodded.
‘Look, you’re kinda strange, Retra – but nice. Must be the Seal thing.’ He held out his hand. ‘Thanks for being worried about me, but do me a favour and just let it go.’
She would have been grateful to him – when she was Retra – for the handshake and the kind words. But Naif didn’t care so much for his stubborn ignorance. She kept her hand at her side. ‘My name is Naif now.’
‘You’ve taken an Ixion name. That’s cool. I’d better get back then, Naif,’ he said.
‘To Cal?’
Markes rolled his eyes and grinned. ‘She’s nicer than you think. Underneath, I mean. It’s just her way to be … direct. Her father is a warden.’
Naif felt sick. A warden as a father. What would that be like? The warden assigned to watch her family had been so cruel. ‘There something I’ve wanted to ask you. In the compound we weren’t allowed to play music, or listen to it, unless Father approved. Was it different for you?’
‘I come from a family of church musicians. We’re allowed to be trained for that purpose.’
‘So musicians beget musicians. Wardens beget wardens, and councillors beget councillors,’ said Naif. ‘I didn’t know that was the rule. My father was a prayer leader. I … girls could not be prayer leaders.’
He nodded. ‘Seals are different.’
‘So Cal would have become a warden if she’d stayed?’
He nodded and looked uncomfortable. ‘Look, are you coming back inside?’
‘Soon.’
‘Don’t take too long or the Ripers’ll come looking for you. People are saying this party is for you. Is that right?’
She shook her head. ‘Why would there be a party for me? I’m just the same as everyone else.’
Markes gave a half grin. ‘Yeah? I don’t think so.’
He left her then.
Naif crouched down and hugged her knees, feeling curiously deflated. What had she been hoping for in their conversation?
She wasn’t sure. Her emotions kept changing. Smiling came more easily, but so did dissatisfaction. All the checks and measures she’d learned as a child had crumbled away, leaving turmoil.
‘Ret?’
The whisper drifted up from one of the paths that led down the side of the mountain. She peered along it. She knew the voice but couldn’t see him. ‘Joel?’
‘Walk towards my voice but don’t look down.’
Her heart quickened and she did just as he said, feet crunching the light gravelly surface. Dry brush broke off and caught in the train of her skirt. She bunched it up and kept walking.
‘Stop now and fold your arms. Just stand looking down the mountain at the lights. Keep your voice low. Ripers might be watching.’
‘There are no Ripers out here,’ said Naif.
‘They are everywhere, little sister.’
Naif badly wanted to look at him. His voice came from a fall of rocks close by. He must be crouched behind there.
‘I heard you’d been taken by the Ripers. What did Lenoir do to you?’ he demanded in an angry whisper.
‘N-nothing. It was Brand. Lenoir saved my life, Joel.’
‘Tell me,’ he demanded.
Naif took a breath to explain again. ‘The wardens gave me an obedience strip when they put us on probation to stop me trying to leave the compound.’
‘What did it do?’
‘It gave electric shocks if I went near the gate to the compound.’
‘So how did you get away then?’
‘I practised hurting myself to get used to it, so I could escape.’
‘You practised hurting yourself?’
Naif licked dry lips. ‘The way you told me. It was all I could think of to do. I couldn’t stay there after you left. Mother was heartbroken. She barely spoke. And the warden, he used to …’ She stopped there, unwilling to share what happened, even with Joel.
‘Ret, I’m sorry.’
She gave a tight little nod. ‘Brand found the strip and cut it from me. I was bleeding, dying, when Lenoir … he stopped the bleeding.’
‘Brand used a knife on you?’
‘She’s cruel and dangerous, Joel.’
‘And she will pay for this,’ he said with whispered fury. ‘How did she know you?’
‘She tried to tear my clothes off at the re-birth, and then I interfered when she attacked one of the White Wings – a girl called Krista-belle.’
‘With the chair? I heard it was you but I didn’t believe it.’
‘What Brand was doing … was like the warden and I-I got angry. Anyway … Brand and Modai have been watching me.’ She took a breath. ‘Suki and I and Rollo went to the Youth