I don’t know if you heard, but her friend Sidonie has a pool.”
Grudgingly smiling, I admit, “She did have fun there.”
“You know what I think?”
“No, but you’ll tell me.”
“Of fucking course, I will,” she says, grinning. “I think you’re overwhelmed. From a weekend away and from hearing about Bronco, Summer, and Ramona. You should just chill like Desi is. She seemed wired when she got home, but I noticed her sitting with the dogs and calming down. You need to do that. Then we’ll see how you feel.”
“You should have told me what happened,” I grumble.
“No, I was right to keep quiet. You got to know Bronco as a person before you heard his rap sheet.”
“I was all over him because I didn’t know.”
“Yeah, and that was about you and him clicking. The past is more complicated.”
I think about my last few years. I was taking Adderall to keep awake and work more. I slept, danced at the club, and took care of the house. I wasn’t a good mother to Desi. I’d long checked out on my marriage to my petty thief husband.
Then I had my heart attack and realized I was about to die before hitting thirty. Was I willing to piss away my life? Did I want to leave Desi with only Kenny? His mother was dead, and he was already showing less interest in our little girl. I made the decision to get healthy and focus on my daughter.
“I’m not a saint,” I mumble, “but I still think I might not be capable of living that kind of life.”
“Maybe. Not everyone is. Max and Ramona just ignore the stuff that bothers them. Some women do that while others want to know everything. I like for Goliath to talk about business. He’s super sexy when he mentions his daily work.”
Shelby sounds so happy when she talks about Goliath. Not that long ago, she was asking for advice on whether to give up on him or agree to booty calls. Goliath didn’t want a girlfriend, even after Shelby was pregnant with his kid. He kept pushing her away, and I’d see her crying all the time. I didn’t know why such a strong woman kept going back to a man who didn’t want her.
Then one day, Goliath suddenly needed her full time. He seemed awkward about that for a while. These days, he’ll follow her around like a lovesick puppy. Goliath loves her so much, and he’s insanely attached to his daughter. It was his excitement months ago over Kirby’s upcoming birth that pushed me to contact Bronco.
So, yeah, life is complicated. People are too. Shelby didn’t cut Goliath loose. She looked past his obvious flaws to what she believed was underneath. Now they’re crazy about each other and building a beautiful family. I know that doesn’t always happen. My mom loved a sensitive man who died young. She’s said more than once over the years how she wouldn’t change a thing about their time together. Mom and Shelby don’t live with regrets.
Other times, the man doesn’t change, and the woman ends up wasting her life. Like I did with Kenny. At least, we were both young when I stupidly believed lies about our future.
Bronco, though, is a grown man, set in his ways, and with a past that I just don’t know if I can wrap my head around.
BRONCO
Sidonie keeps me busy for the rest of Sunday. She doesn’t cry or ask a million questions. Instead, she holds my hand and stares at the TV. Every time my phone chimes, she looks to see if Lana messaged. I try to get her to swim or play in her room. She just wants to sit with me and wait for Lana, Desi, and Carina to return.
“You done fucked up,” Bambi whispers when she visits later to drop off cookies she baked. “Bringing that woman into this house was a mistake.”
“That woman is the mother of my child. How did you expect me to be in Carina’s life if I can’t spend time with Lana?”
“I don’t know.”
Leaning closer, I growl, “Then, you’re just talking for the sole purpose of making me feel like shit.”
“Don’t sass me.”
“Bambi, you made this weekend more difficult than it needed to be.”
“We were testing her.”
“And if she failed? Then she just doesn’t visit, and I have to drive down to fucking Shasta every time I want to see my kid.”
“You worry too much. Women fawn over you all the time. That stripper got dollar