blurted out of her mouth.
A gray-haired woman held up the anatomically correct male and female squares. “They’re potholders with nude people on them, dear. Do you not cook much?”
“I’m a chef,” Karri sputtered back as she leaned closer to look at them. “Those are incredibly detailed.”
“Thank you,” the little old lady said with pleasure.
“You’re a chef? Here,” Mitzy said, handing over what looked to be a knitted dildo. “Just put this on the pot handle and you won’t burn your hand.”
Skye pressed her lips together tightly as she tried to keep the laughter down.
“It’s a penis,” Karri stated as she rotated it in her hand.
“I’m glad you know one when you see one,” Mitzy said dryly as she went back to work on another penis potholder, but this one seemed to have a cat on the shaft.
“I made these for my wine bottles,” Miss Ruby said lining up a series of flesh-colored penises that ranged from black, to tan, to beige.
“Miss Ruby, why is the penis you’re working on green?” Skye asked, taking in the one color that stood out in the lineup.
“I don’t exclude anyone in my wine toppers. That includes aliens,” Miss Ruby said with such surety that Skye had to bite her lip hard to stop the laughter.
Miss Winnie rolled her eyes. “Ruby swears she saw a green alien coming out of the river last night. Now she believes in aliens.”
“I’m telling you, Winnie, he was an alien. What else is green from head to toe?”
“How do you know it was a he?” Skye asked and noticed that everyone, even Dare, was leaning forward with interest now.
“I could see, you know, it. And it was green.”
“What was this alien doing?” Dare asked Miss Ruby.
Miss Ruby’s needles flew as she added to the shaft of the green penis. “It was like he was watching us to learn about us. He was in the shadows of the tall grass by the river. When he saw me watching him, it was like he just vanished. One second he was there and the next he was gone. I walked closer to see him, but there was no evidence he’d ever been there.”
“Was there a boat nearby?” Dare asked while Skye shivered hearing Mitzy’s story. Something about it was creepy.
Miss Ruby shook her head. “No boat and no car. Also, there was no spaceship that I could see. I think he teleported.”
Skye saw Dare glance over at her and the creepiness factor grew. “You don’t think he was looking for me, do you?”
Dare didn’t respond, but the tightening of his jaw and the texts he sent out didn’t make her feel any better. Even Karri looked a little worried, but Miss Winnie was showing her how to knit while Dare helped Skye get started on her scarf.
Thirty minutes later, Skye was discovering the calming benefits of knitting. Her needles moved rhythmically as she listened to Miss Mitzy talking. “I told my son, bless his heart, that having a child of his own was payback for all he put me through.” Dare snorted next to her as he worked on knitting the nipple of his hat. “Well, I laughed and laughed when he asked me to watch J.R., my four year old grandson, last weekend so he and his wife could have a date night. Apparently J.R. had snuck out of his room during naptime and gotten into the glue. He smeared it all over the floor and walls. He then threw glitter on the wet glue and snuck back into bed. His mother’s hysterical screaming woke him up later. They asked him if he knew anything about it. With glitter covering his entire body, he batted his big brown eyes and said, “I made it for you, Mommy. Surprise! I love you.”
The other grandmothers chuckled. Skye and Karri grimaced. Dare cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. Dare didn’t appear to be the glitter type.
“So, they said they need a break,” Mitzy continued. “I tried to remind my son of when he was that age and he took Sharpies to the living room wall and furniture. Then he accused me of finding the glitter situation funny.”
The women all made disapproving noises and shook their heads in a way that instantly made Skye feel bad for whatever was coming next in the story for Mitzy’s son.
“That’s no way to speak to your momma,” Miss Winnie clucked. “What did you do?”
“I told J.R. about penises and vaginas,” Mitzy said with a proud smirk. “J.R., bless