tortured has killed me. Maybe everything has just gotten on top of him at last. He wasn’t bothered when his parents disowned him, or maybe he was and he just bottled it up. He’s always so happy. To see him so devastated… it makes me sick just thinking about it.
I never want to see him like that again. My heart can’t stand it. It’s because of this that I don’t get angry at him for planning our wedding without me. I want to be hurt and angry that he’d rush me into this and do it behind my back, but right now just isn’t the time. What does it matter when or how we get married? I love him, that’s all that marriage should be about.
Now I know what he means when he says seeing me cry breaks his heart.
He looks happy enough, although I know he has a headache because he’s wearing sunglasses indoors and he’s going through painkillers like they’re sweets. I keep telling him to go to the doctor but he won’t listen. He assures me it’s nothing, but this can’t be normal. Can’t he sense how worried I am?
As promised, I haven’t been to work or classes. I’m yet again curled up with Caleb watching crappy TV with Sasha and Tommy, who are insisting they drink in front of me seeing as I can’t join in. Caleb isn’t drinking either; he says he wants to suffer with me. I love him even more for it.
“I can’t believe you’re getting married,” Sasha sighs wistfully and downs the rest of her glass. Tommy leans over and fills it with white wine. “You two were meant to be.”
“You’re so soppy,” I joke, throwing a scatter cushion at her.
“I’m serious. I’ve been single for a year. I’m sick of it now. I want what you have.” She wags her eyebrows at Caleb. “Sure you don’t want me instead? I’ll teach you things you didn’t know were physically possible.”
We all start laughing when she tries to hook her ankle behind her head, fails and falls to the ground with an ‘oomph’.
“I’m sure you’re hot, Sasha, but Gwenny blows my mind.”
“I’m sure she blows something,” Tommy mumbles, earning a glare from me and a cackle from Sasha.
“Oh my god, I only just got that. That’s funny,” Caleb starts laughing a few seconds later, earning a glare from me and a cackle from Sasha and a high five from Tommy.
Caleb starts drifting asleep on my shoulder after a few more minutes. This concerns me because he’s not normally this tired by nine at night. I say my apologies to Tommy and Sasha and take him up to bed, even more worried when he leans on me the entire way. My panic is overloading when I have to help him get undressed.
“I just need to shut my eyes for a while,” he says softly as I kiss his cheek. “Hey, I almost forgot.” I lift my shirt and smile when he kisses my small bump. “I love you, baby Weston.”
“Caleb,” I whisper and sit beside him. “Are you okay?”
He looks me straight in the eyes and nods. “Yeah, Gwenny. Hurry up and come to bed. I want to hold you until…” His voice trails off as he drifts to the land of nod.
I rush to say goodbye to the others and hurry back to bed. I’m getting married tomorrow and that’s the furthest thing from my mind. What’s wrong with Caleb? Is this a lasting effect of his illness?
He pulls me into him so my head rests on his chest and my thigh across his legs, while my hand teases the hairs that travel from his navel to below his boxers. Normally he’d jerk and laugh, but this time he remains peacefully sleeping. Sigh.
“I love you, baby,” I say and kiss his lips.
“Love you too, Gwenny,” He murmurs and tightens his arms around me. I thought he was sleeping. I guess not.
Nuzzling into his chest, I stop playing with his trail of hair and instead I hold him as tight to me as possible.
******
The sun hasn’t risen yet. Why am I awake? Ugh, morning sickness. Nausea roils my stomach.
Leaning over Caleb, I check the clock. Five fifteen in the morning. Great. I’ll never get back to sleep now. I’m one of those people who, when they wake, they’re awake and that’s it.
I can feel the smile cross my lips as a myriad thoughts flit through my sleepy mind. Today’s my wedding day. I’m marrying