confident, not afraid of anything and quick with the smart remarks. I felt so out of my depth; I was drowning.
Ashton took me to a corner away from the pack and I breathed a little easier. She ordered me a drink to settle my nerves and introduced me to two really friendly women who were good fun and interesting to listen to. Millie was serving the drinks and smiled at me sweetly, but I felt so bad for her and guilty that I had taken something she wanted.
I couldn’t relax and when I saw Maverick, I just wanted to run to him but I was conflicted. He is one of them. He is part of this world and he plays as hard as the rest of them. It showed me a side to him I didn’t want to see and I suppose I retreated into the hard shell I built around me to protect my heart from being trampled on. I couldn’t look at him because I was full of disgust—for myself.
But when his hand closed around mine, it was a lifeline. I can’t deny the feelings I have for him and so, here I am running after him, back to his room and by the look in his eyes, he wants answers and fast.
That alone is causing me to panic because the demons I live with will destroy me in a heartbeat if I let them out into the open. He will not be able to save me, no matter how much he wants to. He doesn’t do mafia, he said, well; I am mafia and have to suffer everything that goes with the territory.
Almost as soon as we’re inside his room, he points to the couch and says firmly, “Sit, I’ll fetch you something for the shock.”
On autopilot, I do as he says, trying hard to gather my shutters, ready to pull them down. I take a deep breath and count to ten because he cannot make me unlock that box I hide inside.
“Here, whiskey, it will give you courage to tell me everything I need to know.”
“You think this is all it will take?”
I lift the glass to my lips and feel the liquid burn as he nods and sits beside me. “Yes.”
“So, you want me to tell you something I can’t even deal with myself when you won’t let anyone in on your own secrets. As I said before—hypocrite.”
To my surprise, he laughs softly. “Never pretended otherwise. But in your case, I’ll make an exception.”
“You will?” I say it in surprise and he nods, looking at me with a look that could melt an ice palace.
“Sophia, I don’t want to fight with you. I want to know you. I want to understand what’s hurting you so bad and I want to take that problem and make it mine. I’m stronger than you and can deal with it—for you. Let me help and then maybe you will understand and accept what I tell you about my own past.”
“Why do I have to go first?”
“Because I have dealt with my demons and they are controlled. Yours are not and so you need to be in the right place before I unburden myself to you.”
Once again, I raise the glass to my lips and take a deep gulp of the fiery liquid and feel the burn, then set it down and say with a determination I don’t feel inside, “Ok, Maverick, you’ve got your wish but you should know there are consequences of opening Pandora’s box.”
“I can deal with that.”
“Can you though? I’m not so sure, but well, here goes nothing.”
18
Maverick
At last, we’re getting somewhere. Sophia is finally about to tell me what’s scaring her so much and I’m eager to hear it.
I watch in fascination as she leans back and her expression changes before my eyes. She turns back to that mafia princess she wears so well. Her expression is blank and her eyes are dead. There is no feeling in them, just loneliness and resignation of a life that takes no prisoners.
“I told you what happened when I last saw Carlos Toledo. Well, he escaped and despite my brother’s best efforts remained free. Then my brother heard he was in Chicago and headed straight there. It turned out it was an inside job and somebody that worked for us fed Tobias false information. I got the call to tell me to take Anastasia and he would send a car for us. To trust no one and keep