to give in, to agree to anything he asked. It would be so easy to do.
But he hadn’t offered her promises. He hadn’t told her he loved her or needed her or wanted something more than an extension of the pleasure they’d found together on the island.
Maybe if he had…
But he hadn’t and she refused to be ruled by her libido. With Wyn she’d had a relationship that was passionless but practical. And with Colt she’d had the all-consuming passion that clouded her brain and made her contemplate making bad decisions.
When would she find a happy medium? Someone who could give her everything she wanted and needed? Passion, happiness, a stable future and roots that ran so deep they couldn’t be removed.
That’s what she deserved. But at the moment, the idea of ever finding it felt foreign and unattainable.
Still, she refused to settle for something less. She refused to fall into the same trap her mother had. She refused to lose herself simply to please a man.
She refused to let the moment when Colt walked away break her.
As if realizing that his outburst hadn’t helped his case any, Colt lowered his voice and quietly countered, “Everything will be there after Peru. You can deal with it all then.”
“No, no, I can’t. I can’t put my life on hold because you’re not ready to give up our vacation fling.”
He reached for her, but Lena pulled away. If he touched her, she might cave. And then she’d never forgive herself.
“Go, Colt. I want you to. I know that this is the break you’ve been waiting for. I’m happy for you, really I am.”
Colt’s jaw tightened. His entire body was pulled tight. She knew he wanted to say more, wanted to come up with some argument that was sure to change her mind.
But there wasn’t one. They didn’t have a future. She knew that. Better to end things now and minimize the pain as much as possible.
The loud ring of his cell blasted between them. Colt’s hand tightened around it before pulling it up to look at the screen. He didn’t immediately answer. Instead, he looked at her over the top of it and said again, “Come with me.”
Lena swallowed, forcing back the lump of tears that was stuck in her throat. With a slow shake of her head, she said, “I can’t.”
Spinning away from her, Colt answered the call. She listened, unable to move away and save herself the heartache, as he did exactly what she’d told him to do and accepted Desmond’s offer.
As she sagged against the frame of the door, the pain burst full-fledged through her body. Finally was all she could think. Here was the pain she’d come to expect.
It was over and some day she’d figure out how to deal with it. In the meantime, she refused to fall apart. No one would find her unwashed and unhappy, so weighted down by grief and pain that she couldn’t get out of bed. Tissues would not lie crumpled between the layers of her bed. She would not refuse to eat for days and weeks. No one would watch her waste away, losing twenty pounds she couldn’t afford in the space of a few days.
She would not let herself be held hostage by these emotions.
Instead, she sat quietly and watched as Colt went through the bungalow packing his bags. Within thirty minutes all evidence that he’d even been there had disappeared.
At the door, his hand wrapped tightly around the handle of his bag, Colt paused. He looked back at her across the intimate space they’d shared. He paused, staring at her for several seconds before finally saying, “I hope you’ll be happy.”
The door had barely closed before she gave in to the torrent of emotions rushing through her. Tears flowed down her face, silent and as lonely as she suddenly felt.
She’d made the right decision.
So why did it hurt so much?
13
STALKING INTO THE MAIN LOBBY, Colt headed for the receptionist’s desk. There was one more thing he needed to do before he left.
“I need to see Marcy, please.”
The woman behind the desk cringed away from him, letting him know that the expression on his face was probably not the best one to be wearing if he wanted to charm anyone into anything. He tried to wipe the scowl off his face, but it wouldn’t seem to budge.
The woman backed away from the desk, glancing behind her to the hallway leading into the offices. “I’ll go get her,” she said reluctantly.
Colt