dogs at home, no real boyfriend, and no intentions of settling down any time soon. I feel like everyone is just way better at this adulting stuff than I am. It feels like I just discovered that I’m in a race and I’m already in last place.
“I know,” I agree. “But I think I’ll always be the single one. You know, the cool aunt who keeps the secrets and sneaks alcohol at all the kid parties,” I joke, and she pretends to ignore the hint of sadness in my tone.
She forces a laugh and playfully smacks my arm. “You’re a riot,” she says, blowing me off. “Seriously, aren’t there any guys who may stick? I know you’re seeing like three dudes right now right?”
I roll my eyes. “I am not ‘seeing’ three of them,” I argue.
She gasps. “You are too! There’s Brett, the motorcycle racer. There’s Tony, the almost MMA fighter. And there’s Will, the aspiring musician. You don’t think any of them will stick?” She sits back down in the chair across from my desk and I follow suit.
“Well, let’s see. Brett,” I start ticking them off on my fingers, “he’s already out of the picture. He’s gone to Florida for a race. We went one two dates and no I didn’t sleep with him.” I hold up my second finger. “Tony, he stopped talking to me when I didn’t put out on the first date,” I say, and she gasps as she leans forward to smack me across the arm. I quickly dodge away, out of her reach. “And Will, he’s still around but it’s nothing serious.”
She shakes her head. “How could you leave Tony like that? He was hot as hell, Harley!”
I nod. “I know, but he seriously sucked at fighting and thought he was amazing and I’m not down with a dude that expects me to suck his dick because he bought me a steak. Fuck right off bro.” I shrug. “I want a winner, not a loser who always has black eyes,” I joke.
She rolls her blue eyes and shakes her head, making her red curls sway with the motion. “Seriously, you keep being this picky and you will end up alone.”
I laugh. “Well, I’m always going to be this picky, but while you guys are all tied down to your husbands and kids and PTA meetings, I’ll be out living my best life and traveling the world. So, who’s really losing here?” I ask with a wink, but keep my tone light and playful as a smile stretches across my face. We both know I’m kidding but what she doesn’t see is how much I’d actually love to be tied down like that.
She giggles. “I guess it all depends on what you want. I want to be married, have a couple of kids, always have my best friend with me, through thick and thin. But good for you for not following along with all these boring traditions.” She rolls her eyes and I can tell she doesn’t believe a word of my story.
“Yeah, I mean, all that marriage stuff is good for you and the girls, but I’m just not that type.”
“That won’t stop you from joining us at the bar tonight, right? To celebrate?” She offers up a smile as her shoulder rise.
“I wouldn’t miss it,” I promise. “I’m so happy for you babe. Just because I might not want the same things as you doesn’t ever diminish my happiness for you and all our friends.”
“Good,” she says, standing up and heading for the door to my office. “I’ll text you the details, but plan for a wild night,” she says, pointing at me.
I hold up my hand and wave as she makes her way out of my office. The door softly clicks closed behind her and I’m finally alone. A long breath leaves my lips slowly as I lean my head back against my chair. My eyes find the white ceiling and flutter closed.
Like I said, I don’t want marriage. I don’t want to be tied down. I don’t want to go to sleep with the same man every night. At this point, I’m not sure if I’m reminding myself of this or trying to convince myself. Jealously and guilt naw at my stomach. I hate that I feel this way. I don’t want to be jealous and that’s why I feel guilty. My jealously got in the way of being happy for Cora, and she deserves nothing less. Tonight, I will