The Boy Who Has No Belief - Victoria Quinn Page 0,104

where the rocket launched and stared up at the sky as I watched the rocket explode. Then body parts rained down on me, soaking me in the blood of innocent people who’d trusted me not to kill them.

My eyes snapped open, and the dream ended.

I breathed hard as the images continued to flash across my mind, fading slowly like smoke from an extinguished candle. I looked beside me and saw Emerson still deep in sleep.

I left the bed and walked back into the living room. My laptop was at the dining table because I’d been working on emails since that was the only thing I could bring myself to do. I closed out of it then saw that my document with the book was still there. I hadn’t written anything in a while, and I had no idea when I would have the drive to start again. I closed out of it and saw the recent documents there. There were two that were untitled. I had no idea what they were.

I clicked the first to make sure it wasn’t important before I deleted it.

My thighs squeezed his narrow waist as my nails sliced down his back, leaving marks that would be visible when he walked to the bathroom once we were done. They would be there the following day, and if anyone saw him shirtless, they would know that a woman had recently claimed him. Imagining those marks made me so wet that I came around his fat dick. “Derek…”

My eyes opened wide. “What the…?” I continued to read, watching the fantasy unfold from her point of view, seeing the way she described me to a T. He sucked my nipples before he whispered my name against my skin. “Emmy…”

I sat back in my chair, far more disturbed than I was aroused. I accessed the data about the file and realized she’d written it before I told her how I felt about her. And it was a shared document…from her to me. She’d written a porno about me, just the way I wrote one about her. There was no way that was a coincidence, but how could she have known about the short stories I wrote?

I click on the other untitled document.

It was the dirty stories I’d written about her.

And then I realized what had happened.

I wrote my darkest and most private thoughts…and shared it with her the entire time. It was popping up on her computer, and she read it. Clearly, I hadn’t intended to share the stories with her. Otherwise, I would have mentioned it—and she never mentioned it.

It was a huge breach of privacy.

I had at least fifty pages here, and she’d read them all.

This whole fucking time, she knew. She knew how I felt about her.

I remembered when she got on her knees in my living room and sucked me off just like in one of my stories. She even told me to fuck her mouth, exactly as I had written. She used my fantasies to please me, so her actions weren’t genuine.

I felt violated, embarrassed, stupid.

I continued to stare at the document but didn’t read it. I was paralyzed, overwhelmed by the information that had just smacked me in the face.

Footsteps sounded behind me. “Everything okay?”

My hand immediately closed the laptop so she couldn’t see what was open on my screen. I’d never hid my screen from her before, but the movement was an impulse. She couldn’t see my face, so I continued to sit there as I considered a response. “Yes, just couldn’t sleep.” I was angry, but I didn’t tell her I was angry. I didn’t know why I kept it from her. I didn’t know if it was because I was embarrassed, or if I just didn’t know how I felt about it yet.

“When Lizzie can’t sleep, a glass of milk usually helps.”

I didn’t like milk. “I’ll come back in a few minutes.”

She turned around and walked back to the bedroom.

I returned to staring at the opposite wall…and feeling nothing.

28

Emerson

I picked up his outfit for the wedding then placed it in his closet. The rehearsal was on Friday, and the wedding was on Saturday. As far as I knew, he was still bringing me as his date. Derek had remained cold and distant all week, but he’d finally gone back to work. He didn’t say much to Pierre and Jerome. Just kept his head down and worked.

I didn’t like it when Derek was this way, but I didn’t want to push him.