“Your whole life is about Charlie. Everything you do is to protect that little girl.”
That brought me up short for a moment, and I felt my temper rising. “So goddamned what? That sounds like a pretty great plan to me.”
“But you’re more than just a bulletproof vest,” he contended. “Charlie might be your mission, soldier, but she’s not your life.”
“You’re one to talk,” I snapped. “When’s the last time you did anything that Maven didn’t explicitly order?”
He just looked at me. “When I fell in love with you.”
My eyes filled. I tilted my head up to kiss him, but he recognized it as goodbye and pulled away from me. “No. Don’t let him do this to you. To us.”
The tears began to fall. Closing the small distance between us, I reached up to touch his face with both hands. I made sure the tips of my griffin tattoos touched his jawline.
Then I opened the connection between us.
I felt his mind fight it for one instant, felt the hurt and betrayal like a physical blow to my stomach. But I kept going anyway, and I had the connection locked into place before he could jerk away from me. His face went slack.
“Take charge of this scene,” I instructed, hoping that the press would work in spite of my wobbly voice. “Take care of the vampires and the body, and make sure Elise gets home safely and doesn’t remember what happened tonight. Forget that you saw me here. Do not worry about me until the next time you see me.”
It worked. Quinn gave me an empty nod and shambled off to follow my orders. I took one quick, sobbing breath and fled for the car.
Chapter 37
I cried most of the way to Denver. I had violated Quinn’s trust. Even if I survived this, I would have to live with that. And if I didn’t survive, or if I was taken away to be a surrogate, he would have to live with the knowledge that he had failed to stop me. And that I’d betrayed him.
I cried for Quinn, for me, but a little bit for Emil, too. The look on his face when he wanted me to let him die . . . I wouldn’t forget that anytime soon. He had been working against me, planning several moves ahead to keep me on the defensive. In fact, I’d been on the defensive since the moment that gray fox broke through my window. But looking at it now, I knew Emil wasn’t evil. He’d been backed into a corner, surrounded by terrible decisions.
Only an hour earlier, I’d had a brother. And then I’d killed him.
The tears finally stopped, and a feeling of resolution crept over me. I was doing the right thing. Well, no, but I was doing the only thing I could.
I hadn’t planned to talk to anyone else before confronting Lysander, but as I went over my plan of attack, I realized I’d overlooked something. Luckily, I knew Lily’s number by heart. I punched it into the disposable phone.
“Hello?” Her voice was cautious and worried, expecting bad news.
“It’s me.”
“Lex! Oh my God, where are you?”
“Lily, listen to me,” I said clearly. “Emil confessed that he got the belladonna from Ardie Atwood. She’s in on this whole thing.” As quickly as I could, I explained what I’d learned. Ardie had told Quinn and me about Billy’s out-of-state network of magical degenerates, which she must have inherited after his death. Emil had bought belladonna from her and used it on the Denver vampires, knowing that it would draw Quinn and me out to investigate. He must have planned to capture me and then go after Maven, but Quinn and I had bested Ford and his associates. Emil then had no choice but to move ahead with his Plan B—attack Maven, forcing me into a position in which I needed his help. Lily listened quietly through the whole thing, uncharacteristically never interrupting.
“I don’t know how much Ardie knew about Emil’s intentions,” I concluded, “But she was definitely the seller, and she lied to us about it. You can’t ever trust her again, okay?”
There was a long pause, so long that I checked the phone screen to make sure the call hadn’t dropped.
“Okay,” she said finally, and then repeated it to herself. “Okay. I’m glad you told me.” Another brief pause. “Wait, why are you telling me on the phone? Where are you?”
The tears choked in my still-sore throat. “I love you, Lily.”
“No!” she shouted,