to see him happy.”
What about beheaded? Think it’ll be good to see him like that?
“I’ll see you there!”
“See you there,” I mutter, but she’s already down the hall and almost to the door.
I’m too angry to be hurt. Heartbroken or sad. Right now, I want to claw Bouncer’s fucking eyes out for leading me on. But I’ll never win that fight. He’ll just hold me down. Force me to listen to excuses. Then take his belt off and beat me until I came around to his way of thinking.
He’d never beat you.
Whatever.
I hear talking and bolt into the bedroom. Like a coward, I hide out in the closet until the sound of bikes fade into the distance. Then I grab my backpack and what few belongings I have in the bedroom before making the trek to my home in the woods.
My anger fuels me and I have my whole life packed up and on my back within an hour. I cast one last longing look at what was my life, my home, my happiness, and head out to the main road.
I catch a ride into town, my thoughts blurring.
Why would he say that?
Did he really not care about me?
Was I missing something?
No. I heard him. He said he felt sorry for me. And that the guys had mistaken it for him falling in love.
Was he in denial?
Confused?
Unsure?
Before I know it, I’m back at Four Points. Nobody seems happy about my return. Even Buddy who was the first to greet me with a sack lunch and the last to hug me when I left. Then I realize they don’t recognize me.
Because you’re not a homeless beggar anymore, you idiot.
You have a family.
People who care about you.
Even if Bouncer doesn’t….
Something isn’t adding up.
Bouncer is fucked up, yes. He’s weird and paranoid and has way too much anxiety and he’s a bit of a narcissist and a lot of asshole, but he’s no liar. He might’ve felt sorry for me at one time, but not anymore. Hell, he hated me at one time. Couldn’t stand me. Banned me from the clubhouse and threw me out in the cold. Then nursed me back to health. His guilt might’ve played a part, but that, too, was just in the beginning.
That motherfucker loves me.
If he doesn’t, he’ll learn to.
Whether he wants to or not.
Twenty-One
BOUNCER
“What the fuck do you mean she’s not with you?”
Talia takes a step back from me. “She said she was riding with you. That she’d never rode a bike before. I thought you knew.”
“Does it look like I fucking know?!” I roar, hating her flinch, but too caught up in my own head to care beyond that.
“Back the fuck up, Bouncer,” Jinx’s eyes are deadly. His shades pushed up on his head. “I know you’re upset. But my Ol’ Lady’s not to blame.”
I run my hand over my head. “I know that.” I meet Talia’s eyes. “Sorry, sweetheart.”
She rolls her eyes. “In one ear and out the other. I know you’re worried. You should check her place. In the woods.”
My feet are moving before she’s finished.
When Talia and the rest of the women showed up without her, I knew immediately something was wrong.
I didn’t see her after we left our room this morning. I had a few errands to run for the ceremony and then church with my brothers.
I knew I’d see her tonight.
Then she wasn’t there.
Fuck!
I make it back to the clubhouse in record time. I run through the woods to where her tent is. I told her days ago we needed to pack that shit up because she wasn’t staying there anymore. I’m glad she didn’t. It gives me hope.
I tell myself she’ll be there. On that shitty cot. The one she slept on in the freezing cold. Getting sick. Because of me.
But all that’s there is an empty space. Everything is gone. The extension cord left, plugged into nothing.
I rake a hand through my hair, turning in circles.
I head back in the direction of the clubhouse at a dead run. My bike is still in the driveway where I barely took the time to kick the stand out before I jumped off earlier.
I jump back on and rev the engine. Not even bothering to stop as Jinx and North come out of the garage, arms raised in question.
I speed down the driveway. Not sure where I’m going. Thinking of all the possible places she could be.
I drive down random streets. Probably scaring the shit out of passersby when I stop