and flip her onto her stomach. I drive into her again, and she claws at the comforter.
“Deeper,” she moans. “More.”
I give her more. Harder, deeper, faster while I hold her hair back and suck on her neck. She comes again, calling out my name, and this time, I follow her.
I come so hard I collapse on top of her afterward.
That felt like making love.
For the first time, I can admit that.
I’m getting in too deep with her.
I have to pull back.
But I don’t know how.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Filming the commercial takes longer than anticipated, and Hannah and I don’t get on the road until after noon. We should drive as far as we can. But I don’t want to let go of Hannah just yet. So, I suggest a plan.
“Platte River State Park is about eight hours from here,” I say as we hit the highway. “I figured it will be dark when we get there, so instead of camping in a tent, I have an alternative.”
“Which is?”
“Glamping.”
She claps her hands. “I’ve always wanted to do that!”
“Really?” I smile at her. “This place has glamping cabins with beds that are on rollers, so you can choose to sleep indoors or on the balcony with mosquito netting.”
“That’s so cool. I can’t wait.” She pets Lucky, who’s nestled comfortably in her lap. “Thanks for getting me in to watch you film the commercial. You three all looked hot. But you were by far the hottest.”
I lift her hand and bring it to my mouth for a kiss. “I’m glad you were there.”
The campground is quiet and peaceful. And by the time we pull in, it’s also dark.
“Good thing we don’t have to set up the tent,” Hannah says. “I don’t want to risk losing Lucky at night.”
“The cabin will be safe,” I say as we pull into the gravel drive of our spot.
“It looks exactly how you described,” Hannah says as we walk up to the cabin and step inside.
A bed in the middle plus a chair, bathroom, and mini kitchen make up the cabin.
“With a/c,” I say. “That’s a nice surprise.”
“It’s like we’re playing house,” she says as she looks around the cabin.
Playing.
Not real.
Real is going to be when we say goodbye tomorrow.
I suck in a breath and go set up Lucky’s litter box.
Once the kitten is comfortably resting at the foot of the bed, Hannah and I go out to the patio to look at the stars.
“I never get to see stars like this in L.A.” Hannah laughs. “Unless I go to Hollywood.”
I chuckle. “Los Angeles has a different breed of stars for sure.”
I look over at her standing next to me. She’s resting her arms on the balcony while she gazes up at the night sky. My heart lurches. Because I don’t want to leave her tomorrow.
I pull her toward me in the moonlight.
“Dance with me.”
She melts into my arms as we dance with no music.
I hold her close. “I’ll miss this. I’ll miss you.”
“Me too.” She looks up at me hesitantly. “But we’ll be in the same city, right? So we could keep in touch.”
She’s throwing me the ball. And…whatever she sees on my face makes her step back.
“But that’s not a good idea,” she says hurriedly. “You need to focus on your career. We should end this when we get to Chicago. This was a fairytale, not real life, right?”
Right. But as we go inside and I watch her lift Lucky into her arms for a cuddle, this feels real to me.
It feels like the exact kind of real I always dreamed about.
But real life is my mother slipping away long before my dad and brothers and I stopped needing her.
A happy ending doesn’t exist in reality.
“Real and happy feels unrealistic, I guess,” I say out loud.
Hannah tilts her head and studies me. “That can be true sometimes. Tragedies happen in real life. And we can’t control everything the way we’d like to.” She pauses. “I miss my parents every day.”
I look at her sharply.
“But…” she continues. “That doesn’t mean I wish I’d never loved them, lived with them, and shared all of those years with them. Because as much as it hurt to lose them, the pain was worth the joy.”
“Hannah…” My voice sounds strained and raw.
“It’s okay, Mav,” she says softly. “I know you can’t. Spending this trip with you was still worth what I know will be a hurt-like-hell goodbye.”
Hurt-like-hell goodbye. That’s exactly how it’s going to feel.
Hannah and I get into bed without saying more.