You have every right to speak up and let Nico know how you feel. Just because the marriage was arranged doesn’t mean it has to define your whole relationship. The two of you have to make it whatever you want it to be. After all, I’ve sensed some affection coming from you, too.”
I’d sensed a hell of a lot more than that in the pool.
And in my bedroom.
There was a lot left unsaid hovering in the air around me and Nico.
I think Val was right. Even someone like Nico just needed to be loved at the end of the day, even if he wouldn’t admit it. When he’d pried all those confessions from me in the pool, he’d acted as if he couldn’t have gone another second without hearing that affirmation. That I wanted him, needed him.
But he hadn’t exactly reciprocated, had he?
He’d called me beautiful and had needed to hold me, but that was it.
So, I wasn’t going to get my hopes up about this thing with Nico going the distance. I was already starting to like the man. Given time, I could see it evolving into something more. But time wasn’t something we had a lot of. Our relationship was on a countdown, and we didn’t know when it was going to time out. My father could summon me back to Moscow at a moment’s notice, thereby severing any progress Nico and I had made.
Believing we could turn this faux marriage into a real relationship was a foolish notion.
A romantic, naïve dream.
I didn’t want to get this sweet woman’s hopes up either, so I didn’t respond to Val’s last comment. We cleaned up in silence for a few more minutes, my mind plagued with every “what if” scenario in the book.
“May I ask you a personal question?” she eventually said.
“Sure.” Although I wasn’t sure I’d want to answer it.
“You said you like to work with children.” Her face softened. “Does that mean you want some of your own one day?”
My chest constricted. Again, I didn’t want to disappoint her, but I also didn’t want to give her false hope. “I’ve always assumed that I’d eventually have children. When I found the right person and the time was right.” I waved my arm around, chuckling mirthlessly. “But I also didn’t expect my life to take this turn. Who knows if I’m even meant to be a mother.”
Val tilted her head, studying me. Wheels turned behind her deep brown eyes. “You are. I see a light in you, one of rare humility and generosity. In my opinion, people like that should be parents, because so many who have been blessed with children don’t have those qualities. I believe all of my children will make great parents.”
I raised an eyebrow. “And none of them have given you grandchildren yet. Is that what you’re trying to tell me, Val?”
“I said nothing of the sort. Though that is true. It’s also true that I’m not getting any younger, and my impatience grows by the day.”
I laughed. “Well, Cris and Jasmine are getting married soon. Maybe you’ll get lucky and they’ll want to start a family right away.”
I almost laughed again when her mouth formed a pout. “I think Jasmine wants a few more years to focus on her career. And who can blame her? She’s worked so hard for her success.”
I patted her on the back. “When it’s supposed to happen, it’ll happen.”
She scoffed. “That’s comforting.”
I might already be in love with this woman.
No wonder her husband and children looked at her like the sun shined out of her arse. She was warm and nurturing, soft-hearted and selfless, and had a keen perception. And that was after six children. Secretly, she was the type of mother I’d always dreamed of having for myself and of also becoming someday. Spending so much time with the children at the Red Gate orphanage, I’d admit, had me yearning for some my own.
Not to mention, I’d like to have a husband who looked at me that way. Children who depended on me that way.
Did Nico want children? Had he ever even thought about it?
Probably not.
I mean, the guy had yet to hang up his bachelor saddle and spurs when I met him. There was no way he’d ever given credence to the possibility of becoming a father. Despite his snarky, sometimes surly, nature, I actually thought he’d make a good parent. He had two great role models to look up to. He had a fierce protective streak