all. Ugly words flew on both sides. She accused me of jealousy, which prompted me to fire back that she didn’t deserve a man like Rafe. Of course that’s all he heard when he walked in the door.
He was livid, but all I could see was the plea in my sister’s eyes. He said some hurtful things before showing me the door, telling me to get the fuck out of their lives, and I went. I never even tried to defend myself, because it would’ve meant throwing my sister under the bus.
I never returned after that.
“Spencer is his spitting image,” I tell her with a wistful smile.
“I know. I’ve always been the lucky one, haven’t I? At least until now.”
“Honey…” I slide out from under the quilt and make my way to the hospital bed. “Scoot over.”
It’s a tight fit, but I manage to crawl in beside her and pull her into my arms. Her hot tears seep through my nightshirt.
“I’m sorry,” she sniffles.
“I know. I’m sorry too.”
“In spite of everything, tell me you’ve been happy.”
I stroke a hand over her limp hair and think about her question. “I’ve done work I’m proud of—am passionate about—I’ve seen places I used to dream of, met amazing people along the way, and I’ve learned so much. Yeah, I’ve been happy.”
“Liar,” she whispers. “You still love him.”
My hand stops its stroking motion. “Nicky,” I warn her. This is not a direction I want us to go in, but when my sister has her mind set on something she can be persistent.
“Look after them. The kids, Rafe, they need you. Even Mom and Dad. You’re the strongest person I know, the only person I would trust. I know I’m asking a lot—again—but it would be so much easier to let go if I knew you…” Her breath is getting choppy and I tighten my arm around her.
“Shhh. Rest. I’ve got you. I’ll be here as long as they need me. I promise.”
I watch the early morning light start chasing some of the shadows from the room as I listen to her breath even out again. Upstairs I hear movement, a door closing and then the shower turn on. Rafe is up.
Nicky feels heavy in my arms and I assume she’s fallen asleep, but when I try to slip out of the hospital bed, her hand on my stomach clenches into a fist.
“I’m scared, Taz.”
“I know, honey. So am I,” I admit quietly, pressing a kiss on her hair. “Bonus kiss,” I whisper and settle back, holding my sister as she drifts off.
Rafe
Another restless night.
Sometime in the predawn hours, both my kids had found their way into my bed. In the last year, I had moved into the spare bedroom, but with Nicky downstairs in the living room, she’d asked I move back to the master. In part because of nights like this, when the kids blindly make the trek into the master suite, looking for comfort.
Spencer had been first, half asleep, looking for his mom. It didn’t seem to faze him to find me instead and quickly fell back asleep. He’s still so little; it’s easy to think everything going on is well over his head, but I’m sure more than I’d like impacts him. He merely seems to process difficult information in his sleep.
Sofie is different. She absorbs everything. I’m pretty sure she heard some of the unfortunate scene last night when her grandmother blew up. God forbid she heard the gut-wrenching words of her mom right after, but I suspect that’s what had her coming into the room barely five minutes after her brother.
The one good thing that came out of Sarah’s outburst was Ed speaking up for Taz. I could tell that surprised not only his wife, but also their youngest daughter as well. Sarah apologized to Nicky, and to me on her way out, but not to the person who deserved the apology most. I’d been about to call her on it when I saw Taz give a sharp little shake of her head. I sucked back what I’d been about to say; it probably wasn’t the right time.
I carefully roll out of bed, trying not to wake the kids, but when I pull open a drawer to grab clean clothes I hear rustling behind me.
“Dad?”
I turn around to find Sofie’s eyes on me. “Yeah, Pipsqueak?” I whisper so we don’t wake Spencer. It’s way too early for a Saturday morning. I sit down on her side of the bed.
“She’s