her surprise. “No kiddin’?”
“She most certainly did not!” I cried.
“Maccoulls have been locked in a blood feud with MacDonalds for centuries,” Bill ranted. “Dolly Pinker was a MacDonald.” He fixed Bean with a hard look. “You know what a bunch of savages the Maccoulls are. Every Scotsman knows. Do I have to draw you a picture?”
“My grandmother is treasurer of the Legion of Mary,” I defended. “She does not engage in blood feuds. She knows nothing about blood feuds!”
“Feuding is all the Maccoulls know,” raged Bill. “It’s in their blood. It’s in her blood.” He stabbed his finger at Nana again. “She killed Dolly as sure as I’m standing here. Ask her what was in those pills she was handing out at breakfast this morning. She gave them to everyone, but I bet she saved a very special one for Dolly. She gave her the one that killed her!”
Officer Bean’s expression grew sober. “Ye distributed medications at breakfast this morning, Mrs. Sippel?”
“They wasn’t medications, Officer. They was supplements. Herbal supplements.”
Mom gasped so loudly, she probably collapsed a lung. “Mother! You gave away the supplements I bought you?”
“You bet,” Nana fired back. “They was makin’ me lopsided.”
“They were not.”
“Were so.”
Mom let out a cry of irritation. “If swallowed with a full glass of water as intended, those supplements are supposed to strengthen your bones and improve your lopsidedness.”
“My lopsidedness improved the minute I give ’em away. So there.”
Alice raised her hand. “I swallowed several of Marion’s supplements this morning. Am I going to die, too?”
Whispers. Chatter. Alarm.
“I wouldn’t put it past a Maccoull to try to kill all of us,” Bill accused. “How do we know she didn’t slip Isobel a poison pill and kill her, too?”
“The nerve of you!” I snapped at Bill. “My grandmother is not a killer. Have you lost your mind? Look at her!” She executed a little finger wave as all eyes focused on her. “Is that the face of a cold-blooded killer?”
Officer Bean apparently thought it was. “Can ye tell me whit kind of supplements ye were passing out, Mrs. Sippel?”
“The stuff what’s s’posed to keep us old folks livin’ forever. Big honkin’ capsules. Bark. Weeds. Warts.”
“She not ingesting warts,” Mom explained helpfully. “She’s taking St. John’s wort, which is an excellent herbal for fending off
depression.”
“It don’t work,” fussed Nana. “I get depressed just thinkin’ about havin’ to unscrew the caps off all them bottles three times a day. My wrists can’t take the strain.”
Officer Bean smiled gently. “Perhaps ye’d be good enough ta come down ta the station with me, Mrs. Sippel. I think we might need ta discuss this more thoroughly.”
“You’re arresting my mother?” shrieked Mom.
“I’m taking her in fer questioning,” said Bean.
“You can’t do that,” Mom pleaded. “She’s old and fragile. She could suffer a stroke at the mere thought of riding in a police car. My daughter is right. My mother is no killer. If you leave her at the hotel with me, I’ll take full responsibility for her. I swear it. I’ll move into her room with her, and I won’t let her out of my sight.”
Bean’s jaw pulsed with indecision. He leveled a look at Nana. “Whit do ye think of that proposition, Mrs. Sippel? If I question ye here, do ye promise to remain under yer daughter’s supervision until after the postmortem?”
“Of course she promises,” Mom answered for her. “What other option does she have?”
Nana looked from Mom, to Officer Bean, to Mom again. Popping out of her chair, she marched over to Officer Bean. “I’m exercisin’ my other option.” She offered up her wrists for handcuffs. “Book me.”
“Mother!”
“I don’t need ta book ye, Mrs. Sippel. I only want ta—”
“You got a TV in that jail a yours?” she interrupted.
Bean’s eyes twinkled. “Do we ever. A new, eighty-inch, flat- screen, LED-based LCD HDTV with a DVR that can record up ta five programs at one time.”
“Cable?”
He grinned. “We just got hooked up ta satellite.”
“That clinches it,” said Nana. “I’m goin’ with him.”
George heaved himself to his feet. “If Marion goes, I’m going, too.”
“So am I,” said Tilly as she boosted herself out of her chair. “Good friends don’t abandon each other, even when there’s incarceration involved.”
And on that note, the entire Iowa contingent stood up. Margi raised her hand. “Before I commit, could you tell me what your bathroom facilities are like?”
“Is this going to be a sleepover?” asked Grace. “We’ll have to pack Dick’s CPAP machine if it is. Have I ever mentioned how inconvenient it is