our lives are still separate. Go back and celebrate your daughter’s birthday. You should be there with her, not over here with me. You weren’t even supposed to see me tonight, remember?” He whirled away from the shocked expression on her face, shoving his way into the men’s bathroom where she couldn’t follow.
At least, where she shouldn’t follow. There was a small part of him that worried she would, anyway. Another part that hoped she would.
Standing in front of one of the sinks, he stared at himself in the mirror, gripping the porcelain and waiting… but no petite firecracker came storming through the door to yell at him. Hell, he wasn’t even sure what he would say to her if she did. It really was better this way.
Wasn’t it?
Domi
In shock, feeling completely hollowed out on the inside as if she was an empty doll, moving through space because someone had wound her up and set her into motion, Domi turned away and started walking back to the table. The table she had sent the others to while she’d chased down Mitch.
She wished she hadn’t.
Except…
Was he right? Was it better this way?
Hell, if it was going to happen anyway, better sooner than later, right?
That’s why she’d broken off their arrangement in the first place. To end things before her emotions got involved.
Too late for that now.
She should have been angry, furious, but she couldn’t summon the emotion. She felt like someone had frozen her from the inside out. As she reached the table where her family was sitting, she also realized that wasn’t the worst thing in the world. She pasted a smile on her face for Ana and sat down. The other adults looked at her with worried expressions, Rae more so than the others.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, Mitch isn’t feeling well,” she heard herself say as though from a great distance as though someone else was using her mouth to speak. To smile. She was on autopilot. “Hopefully not something he ate.”
They all laughed, Ana a beat later than the others because she didn’t actually get the joke, but Rae still looked worried. Thankfully, Marcus and Julia seemed to accept her explanation at face value.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Mitch returning to his table, but he didn’t sit down. He leaned down and said something to his dad, giving the older man a quick hug, then walked out the front door. He didn’t look in her direction. Didn’t even glance.
The inside of her chest felt like it was starting to rip open. Her emotions were coming back into focus.
“Mommy?” Ana’s voice pushed them down again, leaving her once more in control.
Smiling, she looked down at her daughter. Her joy. Her constant.
“Yes, sweetie?”
“Can I have the ravioli and the macaroni and cheese?”
“Sure, baby, it’s your birthday,” Domi said automatically. “You can have whatever you want.”
Ana should have whatever she wanted. One day, she wouldn’t be able to have something she wanted. One day, she would want something more than she’d ever wanted anything else in the world, but it wouldn’t be within her power to get it. It would have to be given… by someone else. That person might decide not to give it to her. They might run away at the first confrontation, leaving her bereft and hurting.
Until that time, Domi was going to make sure her daughter had any small thing she wanted.
Domi, too. Tonight, she was going to want Rae and Ben and Jerry. First, though, she had to get through this dinner, then get Ana to bed.
“Excuse me.” The charming Scottish accent made Domi jerk her head up. Mitch’s dad smiled down apologetically at her, holding out his hand, and she automatically took it. This time he didn’t shake it, just held her fingers in his warm palm. “I wanted to say it was verra nice to meet you. I upset my son before you came in, and he wasna able to give us a proper introduction, but I can tell he cares about you verra much.”
“Thank you,” Domi said robotically.
“G’night then.” He nodded his head, returning to his table to pick up a to-go bag of food, then following his long-gone son out the door.
Domi realized everyone at her table was staring at her.
“Uh, Domi? Was… is… are you seeing…” Marcus' voice trailed off, and his eyes darted to Ana, who looked concerned but also very confused.
Mother fucker.
“Let’s talk about it later, shall we?” She pushed her smile back onto her face,