I felt angry. Was he insinuating that I’d deliberately excused myself so that the keep could be attacked? “If I’d had a choice, I would have been here, my lord.” I placed heavy sarcastic emphasis on the word. “I would not have abandoned my pack. And I think that between the terrametus and the ispolin, I’ve proven my loyalty. I was stupid and I didn’t look where I was going but if you’re trying to suggest that I’m some kind of traitor…”
“And yet, even with the ispolin, you still didn’t shift, when you could have.”
“And you know my reasons for that.” At least my pack knew my reasons for that, anyway.
He glowered at me with the threat of violence contained within the stance of his body. “I’d compel you to tell me everything, Miss Mackenzie, and yet I wonder if it would work after, as you say, what happened with the terrametus.”
Oh what a tangled web we weave. I opened my palms to him, in a marked display of submission. He seemed to be getting closer and closer to the truth. But once I got inside the portal, then it wouldn’t matter. Because either I’d kill Iabartu or she’d kill me. And in killing her, her portal would close and I wouldn’t be able to return. Fucking Corrigan and his clever eyes, and the fucking Brethren with their all too obvious air of superiority, would never find out I was human. Despite Alex’s clever assertions to the contrary, I knew I felt human. I couldn’t for the life of me really contemplate being anything else. There was the bloodfire, sure, but I didn’t really have any special skills that I’d not gained through hard work and years of training. Wanting to be a shifter wouldn’t make me one. And, anyway, being human would not stop me from redeeming myself and getting revenge for John, Julia, and everyone else.
The shifter, probably the doctor, who’d been crouched down by Julia interrupted us. “My Lord Corrigan, we need to move her inside. I will try my best to heal her but she may be too far gone.”
I felt ill and briefly shut my eyes before forcing them open again. Corrigan nodded briskly and looked at me. “The keep’s perimeter needs to be repaired. You will make sure that it is. And then you had better get that taken care of.” He looked pointedly at the bite marks from Tom. Although blood still dripped from them, soaking into the dishtowel, I didn’t feel any pain. Not physical pain, anyway.
I motioned acquiescence and fixed my attention on Julia. “Anything she needs,” I said to the doctor, “anything at all, tell me.”
Corrigan growled at me, but the doctor nodded in sympathy. I hitched my backpack on my shoulder and went inside.
Chapter Twenty One
I couldn’t shake the image of Julia’s broken body from my mind. I wasn’t sure if I could cope if she died as well as John. Oily nausea rolled through the pit of my belly; I only just made it to the bathroom in the time to retch up the meager contents of my stomach.
Splashing cold water on my face, I stared miserably at my pale reflection in the little mirror. I was supposed to help protect my pack. Instead, as long as the Brethren were around, my presence endangered them. Not only that, but when they really needed me I hadn’t been here. No wonder Corrigan had looked ready to murder me. If I could stick to my plan, and get inside the portal, then I’d just have to hope that I could make things right.
I walked back out into the hall and made my way to the front door. Pragmatically speaking, fixing the entrance seemed to be the best way to secure the keep. Not least because if we didn’t then anyone who came knocking, such as the local postman first thing tomorrow morning, would immediately think that some kind of massacre had taken place. Which it actually had. Iabartu was kicking our butts.
Johannes joined me, shaking his head sadly. “Sad days these, lass, sad days.” He was carrying a toolbox which I took from him.
“What’s happening, J? I don’t understand why we keep being targeted.”
“Aye,” he said heavily. “We have summat that someone wants. Trouble is, we dinna know what.”
I thought about that, and what I’d uncovered so far. Was this related somehow to the Draco Wyr that Craw had mentioned? But then, I could pretty much lay my hand on