elbow down my back. I didn’t come here to be lectured.
‘How’s the family?’ I asked in between elbows.
‘Going away next week, actually. Echuca. Mate’s got a team in the Southern 80. You should come.’
A ski race on the Murray River. Lots of drinking and fast boats. A couple of deaths every year. Car accidents, boat accidents, all sorts of mishaps and drownings. And he thought my life was dangerous.
‘Can’t,’ I said. ‘I’m working.’
‘Righto. On your side. Arms relaxed.’
I rolled over and he kneaded his hands up and down my biceps and triceps. This was the worst part, the most painful.
‘Shoulder’s starting to loosen. Might be able to get on some light dumbbells soon. Nothing too heavy. Been to see Mum lately?’
The question caught me off guard, just as it was meant to.
‘Ah, not since Christmas.’
‘Since Chrissy?’ Anthony whistled. ‘Been four times this year, I have. It’s only a two-hour drive, mate. It wouldn’t kill you to visit occasionally.’
‘I’m going on Sunday,’ I said.
‘You should. She misses you.’
‘How d’you know that? She can’t even talk.’
Anthony pushed me back down on the bed, face first. I didn’t resist because I deserved it.
‘She’s our mother. Of course she misses you. It’s a stroke, Rubes. Shit, it’s not Alzheimer’s. She knows what’s going on.’
I said nothing. He was right.
‘She was there for you, remember? All of us were. Lot of time waiting in the hospital. It’s not right if you don’t go. Disrespectful.’
I let my body go limp and welcomed the pain. Mum’s stroke had happened last spring and I could probably count on one hand the number of times I’d visited since. My beautiful mother, the matriarch of our family, reduced to a vegetable.
‘Roll over. On your back.’
I did as instructed and stared at a framed photo of my brother’s family on a desk in the corner. Son, daughter, wife. Perfect nuclear family. It reminded me of the photo I’d looked at in my lounge earlier in the day. Perfect camping trip.
‘Don’t forget Jonathan’s birthday tomorrow,’ Anthony said. ‘Spit roast. DJ in the garage, the works. You’re still coming, I assume?’
I had the invitation on my fridge, but had forgotten all about it and suddenly hoped I hadn’t double-booked.
‘I’ve put in for a night off. Hopefully I’ll be there.’
‘Come on, Rubes. He’s turning eighteen, mate.’ Fingers pressed painfully into my left shoulder. ‘Wouldn’t be the same without you. He loves you, you know?’
‘I’ll be there, Andy,’ I said, using the name we’d all called him since childhood. It didn’t really match, but he liked it better than Tony.
‘Is it all right if I bring Ella?’ I asked.
‘Sure.’
‘Thanks.’
Anthony continued working, unsure how to follow up.
‘How’s it all going?’ he asked.
‘Okay, I think. I’ll be seeing her tonight as well. Nothing fancy, just a DVD and a few bevvies.’
‘Sounds nice.’
‘Yeah.’
We were silent then and I wondered what lay ahead. My separation had affected the entire family and I knew everyone wanted us to rekindle our relationship. It was a difficult topic.
‘How’s Chloe – halfway through uni and loving life?’ I said, changing the subject.
The hand pressure released.
‘Yeah, uni starts up again next month. Summer comes to an end, thank Christ. Her social life’s getting out of hand. She goes out to nightclubs and parties and God knows what else. She came home at seven the other morning. Gabrielle nearly had a fit. Can you believe it, seven in the morning?’
‘That’s pretty normal, Andy. She’s still a good kid.’
‘A good kid, right,’ he repeated, and there was a long silence before he said, ‘Caught up with Dad lately?’
‘Jesus, what is this, the Spanish Inquisition?’ I said, pushing his hand away and rolling off the bed. ‘I haven’t seen him since Christmas either. Just over a month ago. You gonna earbash me about that as well?’
Anthony wiped his hands on the towel, screwed the lid on the oil and tossed it in his bag.
‘You can be pretty selfish sometimes, you know that?’
‘Oh, piss off.’ I snatched up my wallet, peeled out a fifty and flicked it on the desk. ‘I come here for physio, Andy. Not to be accused of neglect. I’m trying to make something positive happen with El and get back in the harness at work. That takes time and a lot of emotional energy.’
‘Fair enough, but don’t forget being a cop made you like this.’ He pointed at the scar on my shoulder. ‘That’s just the flesh. Your shit goes all the way to the bone.’
I slid into my pants, yanked on my shirt