she spoke, her voice was surprisingly calm and toneless. This was another part of being an Ankh she enjoyed. All that seething rage was gone. Well some of it was gone. That which was left she could now manage and control in a way she hadn’t been capable of before. “Cyrus didn’t make me believe in a friendship that never existed. You went above and beyond your assignment, Noah, you know you did. You drew me in. And it was all pretend, all a lie. And worse… you were the only one who knew how I felt about Stellan… and you let that girl kill him.” Perhaps it was the lack of expression in her voice or perhaps just the words, but Noah seemed to feel those cold words all the way down to his feet, causing Eden to pause momentarily. His expression tightened and he stepped back from her, careful not to touch her. “It wasn’t pretend. And I had everyone under orders not to kill Stellan. I am truly sorry for what happened to him, Eden.”
“How can you be? He was a soul eater.”
“He was your brother. And I didn’t want you hurt. You can believe that or not, but we are going to be working with each other and you are going to have to start trusting me.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Eden.”
Their gazes caught as Eden’s heart jumped at his apology. It was the first time he’d admitted any real wrongdoing and remorse. She didn’t say anything, and the longer the silence grew the more she was sure he could hear her heart thudding against the natural acoustics of the bathroom. A strange heat and tension built within the small confines of the room and she remembered a night that seemed a part of another life, when he had stood in a stranger’s kitchen, looking at her as if he had never seen her before.
Had that been real?
Was this?
Did it matter?
She sighed and lowered her eyes, breaking the tension. “I’m not ready to forgive.” He sighed heavily and turned, reaching for the door handle. “I’m not going anywhere. Take all the time you need. We’ve got eternity remember.”
Chapter Six
All These Things that I’ve Done
Tears streamed down Eden’s face and she curled into October’s duvet, rocking back and forth, stuffing the fabric into her mouth to silence her screams. How could it have been possible that only three hours ago she’d been fine? She had stood in that bathroom, confused and wary of Noah, but strong and ready to begin her new life. But as soon as she’d stepped inside the bedroom to run a brush through her hair, to ready herself for dinner with Cyrus and the Douglas’, this wall of memories crumbled in around her, each brick a hit of guilt for what she’d allowed her family to do over the years.
She kept hearing the screaming, seeing flashes of the red-headed woman, the eyes of the girl in the basement, condemning her, calling her a coward. She could remember each individual scream that had ever escaped that basement. She could see Lana’s face, the college Freshman Stellan had soul-eaten, her blank eyes boring accusingly into her head. The pain wracked her body and she begged for it to all go away. How had she lived with herself all these years? How could she let her family destroy people she was born to protect?
How could she still love and grieve for Stellan when he had been a part of it?
Ah… there was the thorn.
She had changed; she had been reborn an Ankh, and yet she suffered her brother’s loss despite his heritage. Despite all he had done, despite they were destined enemies, Eden knew she could never bring herself to erase him from her memory, to delete the text messages on her cell, the only remnants of his existence she had left, never mind delete her love for him. And she knew, despite her soul telling her she was an Ankh, a warrior, a protector… she knew… she knew if she were ever given the chance, she would still take her revenge on Romany for Stellan’s death. The thought only made her sob harder, no longer aware of Cyrus who sat in the chair by her bed, or Valeria who awkwardly tried to soothe her, or Noah who stood in the corner of the room, his nails drawing blood from his palms his fists were clenched so tight.
When she