And he didn’t care. I’ve never felt like he was judging me.
He reached for my hand, and I pulled away, reaching instead to check my phone.
There was no heat, no spark. And after being with Tate where every moment together was like being in the center of a molten hot volcano? No way I was going back to lukewarm relationships.
I wanted to like Ryan, but I just didn’t.
And it was stupid of me to lead him on.
I glanced back over my shoulder at Tate again, scratching my neck and pretending as though I was casually looking around the auditorium. His steely eyes were right on me, and that lush mouth of his curled into a smile. Dimples appeared on either side of his lips. I jumped, spinning forward in my seat. Damn. Totally caught.
“You all right?” Ryan whispered, leaning in. The group chorus finished their final song, and I winced, hearing Tate’s distinct whistle as he jumped to his feet, cheering for Sophia.
“I’m fine.” I forced a smile, clapping, and stood as well.
…
The rest of our night was…well, boring. Terribly boring.
Life had never been boring with Tate.
I missed him so much it hurt. And stupid Reagan…she was the one who convinced me to go out with Ryan. Follow our friendship where it led us.
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
The silver lining was that Ryan couldn’t think this was going well.
Oh God. What if he thought this was going well?
I stole a glance at him as he drove me back to the apartments. Music hummed on the radio—bad top 40s music that Tate and I would have mocked mercilessly—and Ryan sang along, tapping his fingers in rhythm on the steering wheel.
Pulling into an empty space in front of the building, he put the car in park and climbed out along with me. I froze, standing beside his Kia. “Oh. Um, you don’t have to walk me in…”
“Of course I do.” He offered me a small smile, locking the doors before taking my hand. Sweaty. Ick.
“Okay…” I followed him to the front door, stopping just before punching in my code. He could not come in…not even inside the building lobby. There had to be no pretense whatsoever that I was letting him up to my apartment. “Well. Thanks,” I said, doing my best to sound casual. Apart from punching him on the shoulder, I don’t know what I could have done. But according to Reagan, this was how most people date.
Except, the way Ryan was looking at me…shit. He did think this was a good date. There were beads of sweat along his hairline, and he licked his lips, his smile twitching nervously. Leaning in, his hand fell to my waist, and I jumped backward and slammed against the brick building, groaning as my head bounced into the concrete wall.
I laughed in spite of myself, rubbing the back of my head, offering an apologetic look up to Ryan. “Ouch,” I chuckled.
“That looked like it hurt.” He laughed, too, but his eyebrows crinkled in the center. He curled his other hand around the back of my head. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I nodded with a shrug. “Just…clumsy.” Yeah. Clumsy and trying to get away from you, I added silently. “Well, thanks again for dinner…”
Before I could finish my sentence, Ryan leaned down, pressing his lips gently to mine. I didn’t exactly resist, but I didn’t entirely give in, either. He opened his mouth, working my lips by sliding them along mine. Shit…what do I do with my hands? They were hanging at my sides like I was having my first kiss in middle school again. I lifted them, first landing on his shoulders, but then thought better of that and slid them to his elbows.
Elbows? God, Shelby…you are an idiot.
I moved them back up, settling around his neck, and just as I was satisfied, the kiss was over and he was pulling back.
Well, shit. Even if it had been an exciting kiss, how would I have known it? “Uh, thanks,” I said. Thanks? I really am an idiot.
Ryan chuckled at that, and sighed, falling against the wall next to me and scratching under his eyebrow. “I really hoped for a bit more of a reaction than that.” He looked over, smiling, and I sighed.
“I’m sorry—” I started, and he cut me off with a wave of his hand.
“Don’t worry about it.” With a squeeze to my upper arm, he winked, leaning in and brushing his clean-shaven jaw against