until those feelings disappeared. A sense of despondency swept through me at the thought of keeping my distance, and that helped to make the final decision. I didn’t want to give up his friendship. I could handle this. I really could.
Sure, let’s have dinner. I’m not sick of you yet. I added the same cross-eyed emoticon that he’d shared with me and then hit send.
His response came through a few seconds later. Good. Be at my house at six-forty-five.
Alrighty then. It was on.
Chapter 19
Easton
I got the vibe that Maya might be interested. She wouldn’t be willing to risk her reputation at work if she wasn’t at least open to the idea. In the past, I hadn’t pursued long-term relationships because I never saw myself as having the qualities necessary. I was selfish, moody, and a few other things that managed to get me in trouble all the time.
But since I’d accepted Christ, I was starting to have a new outlook. Yes, I was selfish, but the Lord could do a work in my life, couldn’t he? I wanted to believe that more than anything in the world.
I wanted to believe there was still hope for someone like me.
Frankly, shallow associations that led nowhere wearied me and only added to my general dissatisfaction with life. I could see a future with Maya if she gave me a chance, but I would have to tread lightly. If I scared her away, I would never forgive myself for allowing one of the best things that had ever happened to me slip through my fingers.
At six-forty-five in the evening, Maya pulled up to my house, and I met her at her car. “Hey, the weather is beautiful today,” I said. “Want to pick up food and take it to the park? It’s still light outside.”
She got out of the car, a shy smile playing at her lips. “Sure, why not?”
Her smile turned a little awkward, but that was probably because I teased her this morning about talking to George, and I’d inferred it had something to do with the two of us having more than a friendship. I’d flirted with her, but I had to be careful not to step over the line.
“I’ll drive,” I said. “What kind of food are you in the mood for?”
“What about pizza?” She followed me to my car, smoothing back a lock of hair as if not completely at ease with the situation.
“That sounds great.” I was avoiding that kind of food since I’d been training for the Warrior Obstacle Challenge, but I figured one meal wouldn’t make a big difference in the larger scheme of things. Once she got in my car and we were on our way, I glanced at her quickly before turning back to the road. “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable this morning. I like you a lot, Maya, and I would never jeopardize our friendship. Honestly, I don’t have too many friends like you. None, really. And I don’t want to lose that because I’ve been a jerk and didn’t think about your feelings.”
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“If I ever make you uncomfortable, I hope—”
“It’s okay. Really. We’re friends, and we both understand that. Neither of us are looking for more.”
Okay… My heart sank, and it took a moment to recover from that statement. She didn’t want more with me. Had I read her all wrong? Perhaps she still saw me as her high school bully and couldn’t envision a future with me.
After that conversation, we didn’t say anything else until we arrived at a nearby pizza parlor. We went inside and ordered two large pizzas and then took it to go once it was ready. I drove to a park not far away, and then we got out of the car and found a picnic table to set the pizzas on.
The park was quiet except for the sound of birds chirping in the trees and the light wind sweeping through the leaves. A light breeze moved through Maya’s long brown hair, carrying the scent of something fruity. I handed her a plate and napkins and motioned for her to dig in. She opened one of the boxes and lifted out a piece of pepperoni pizza.
An uneasy sensation washed through me as I considered her earlier statement about neither of us looking for more, and I was tempted to tell her how I felt, putting all my cards on the table. That would be a calculated risk, and I wasn’t