telling you.'
"I let them go into the front parlor together, and then I went into the kitchen for lunch, where Jasmine was just telling Big Ramona that they were rich. I hated to break up their happiness with my glum looks and I blamed it all on hunger. Besides, Jasmine had always been rich and so was Big Ramona. They just never wanted to leave Blackwood Manor, everybody knew.
"And since one thing I could always do was eat, I devoured a platter of Sunday chicken and dumplings.
"Finally, I could resist the suspense no longer. I went to the parlor door, and Aunt Queen beckoned for me.
" 'Now darling, Nash is under the impression that you'll be disturbed in time by the fact that he hasn't so much chosen a bachelor's life as been rather predisposed to it.'
" 'I have it all in a letter here, Quinn,' said Nash in his kindly but authoritative manner.
" 'Are you telling me you're gay?' I asked.
"Aunt Queen was shocked.
" 'Well, to be frank,' said Nash, 'that's exactly what I intended to tell you.'
" 'I knew that last night,' I said. 'Oh, don't worry that you gave it away with some obvious gesture or mannerism. You didn't. I just sensed it because I'm probably that way myself; at least, I'm bisexual, I have no doubt of that.'
"I was greeted by a stunned silence from Nash, and from Aunt Queen a low pleasant laughter. Of course I'd just made a little confession that might have hurt her, but I was very sure Nash would not be hurt at all.
" 'Oh my precocious one,' she said. 'You never fail to charm me. Bisexual is it, how Byronic and charming. Doesn't that double one's chances for love? I'm so delighted.'
"Nash continued to stare at me as if he could think of nothing whatsoever to say, and then I realized what had happened.
"Nash had resigned his post not because he was gay; he'd known he was gay long before he ever came here. He'd resigned his post because of what he'd seen in me and what I'd told him about my own predilections! Oh, it was so perfectly obvious and I'd been such a dolt not to catch on. I should have let him off the hook right away.
" 'Look, Nash,' I said, 'you've got to stay. You want to stay and I want you to stay. Now let's just take a vow that nothing erotic will ever pass between us. That it's, you know, inappropriate. You'll become the perfect teacher for me because I don't have to hide anything from you.'
" 'Now that's a potent argument,' said Aunt Queen, 'no pun intended. I do mean, really Nash, Quinn has a point there.' She made a pleasant airy laugh. 'Good Lord, in schools all over this country gay men and women make excellent and sympathetic teachers. The whole issue is settled.' She rose. 'Nash Penfield, you must unpack your bags, at least until we leave for New York, and Quinn, you have to get some sleep. Now everything's settled until suppertime.'
"Nash still seemed to be in a state of shock, but I shook his hand and elicited a wide-eyed and softly murmured statement that he would stay, and, not daring to take him in my arms, I headed up to my room to get three hundred dollars out of my bureau (I always had some money there) and to make certain that I had on the best suit of clothes I owned and the lucky Versace tie, which I had not worn to meet with our lawyer.
"As I came downstairs I felt something pull at me; I don't mean it was the hand of Goblin so much as it was a feeling or a mass of feelings. I had gone without sleep a long long time. And what I thought of now was Rebecca. In fact, it seemed for a moment Rebecca was with me, and then she wasn't.
Little redheaded bitch. . . black bitch!
"When I reached the side lawn I walked slowly over the flagstone terrace and through the new arrangement of wicker, and I had the feeling that Rebecca was very near. Rebecca was waiting for me to fall asleep. Rebecca was waiting to talk to me. Yes, I had been on this very couch with her, and she had sat on that chair, and the coffee had been on this table. A dizziness came and went as it had that day in the swamp, but I