tears and she looked about as nervous as I’d ever seen her. Her fingers locked on mine tightly enough that I had to suppress a flinch of pain. “I’m pregnant.”
Aspen’s words about there being something to celebrate down the road rang through my head. I returned the death grip on my hand and said, “Congratulations. That’s so exciting. I bet Hill is thrilled.”
Kody paled and tugged her hand free. “I haven’t exactly told him yet, either.”
I blinked at her and slumped back in my seat. “Why not?” Anyone who had spent more than a minute in Hill and Kody’s company could tell the quiet, intense Texas Ranger was head over heels for the youngest Lawton. The kind of love that moved mountains and shifted rivers. The man had loved her for a lifetime and would love her beyond. It didn’t make sense that Kody would keep something so huge and special from him.
Kody put her hands on her cheeks and shook her head vigorously. “For one he’s been out of town on an assignment. He’s always off here or there. Do you have any idea what’s going to happen if I tell him we’re having a kid? He’s going to drop everything in his life and focus only on me and the baby. I love him, but there is such a thing as too much attention and affection.” She lowered her gaze to the top of the table and muttered, “And if I tell him, it’s real. It means I’m really going to be a mother. I’m going to be responsible for another human for the rest of my life. I have no idea how to do that. I’m…scared.”
I got up from my seat across from her and walked to where she was trembling in her seat. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and gave her a hug, resting my cheek on the top of her unruly hair.
“It’s okay to be scared. Having a baby is a big deal, and it is a lot of responsibility. I’d be more concerned if you were taking the pregnancy in stride.” It sounded as if, like most things in her chaotic life, the baby wasn’t planned and had thrown her for a loop. Luckily she had a lot of people in her life to support her and show her the way. She already had her village to help her raise her child. Well, she would have them once she told her family what was going on.
Almost as if she could read my thoughts, she tearfully continued, “It doesn’t seem fair. All Aspen ever wanted was to be a mom. She’s so good with Hayes, and her and Case make such good parents. And Della and Crew are getting married. They both have stable, successful careers. I don’t know if they want kids, but they’re both in a place where they could offer a baby a great life. Hill and I barely reunited. We’re just starting to learn how to live together, how to love one another, and now there’s a baby in the mix. It seems like some kind of cosmic joke.” She gulped loudly and moved her hand so she was holding on to my forearm. “I feel like Aspen might hate me when she finds out. She’s done more to bring our family together and help heal us than anyone. I can’t bear the idea of hurting her.”
I smoothed a hand down her arm and shushed her. “Aspen won’t hate you. She’s going to be so happy for you. She might be a little sad for herself, but that has nothing to do with you.”
Aspen had mentioned her struggles with fertility in an offhand manner more than once. She spoke of the complications and heartache she experienced before getting together with Case and inheriting Hayes as her almost-grown son in the process. She always sounded slightly sad when she talked about the past, but the fertility issues were only part of it. Her marriage before her relationship with Case had also been incredibly rocky and complex. There was lingering disappointment that was simply just a part of who Aspen was, the same way the loss of her first love was such a huge part of who Kody was, and the way the unrelenting need to handle things on my own was so much of who I was. It was both the triumphs and the failures, the wins and losses, that shaped who we were.
Kody sniffed a little, so I let