enjoy the drive back.” She looks over again and grins suggestively before putting her eyes back on the road. “So, about Niklas.”
I sigh and shake my head, slouching farther down against the passenger’s seat to get more comfortable.
“He’s a dick, Nora,” I say. “That’s about as much as I know, and it’s shit you already knew yourself—why don’t you try getting to know Fredrik instead? He needs a woman. Niklas…well, I think all you’ll ever get out of him is a good fuck or two.”
That didn’t come out right; I didn’t mean to insinuate that I think he must be ‘good’ in bed. Thankfully we turned the mics off a long time ago and Victor isn’t listening in anymore—talk about awkward.
Nora catches my eye, and when I look back over there’s a grin dancing on her lips.
“A good fuck or two is all I want.”
That doesn’t surprise me much, really, but it does spark a whole new topic.
Uncrossing my arms, I sit up straighter and look right at her with interest. “Just out of curiosity,” I say, “have you ever had feelings for a man before?” I raise my back from the seat, turning at an angle so she has my full attention. “I mean, something a little more than sex?”
Nora pooches out her unpainted lips and shakes her head. “Nope,” she says. “I have no interest in anything more than sex.”
I laugh lightly and fall against the seat again.
“Well, you never know,” I say with confidence. “That dirty little L-word has a tendency to sneak up on you, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it when it does.”
“I’d kill a man before I fell in love with him,” she says and I look over, quietly stung by her words. “I never get too close.”
For a moment I’m not sure what to say to that.
“Well then I take back what I said about Fredrik—Niklas is a better option for you. Besides, Fredrik might have something with that waitress.”
Nora chuckles. “If you believe that, you’re lying to yourself.”
“Why? He seems to like her. It’s been two weeks and he hasn’t lost her or gotten rid of her yet—I think she’s sweet. He needs someone like her.”
“Oh, Izabel,” Nora says in a pitying manner, “that man cannot be with a sweet, innocent girl like her. Trust me on this: no one can ever replace Seraphina except a woman who is practically her equal—mark my words.”
I don’t want to believe that. I want Fredrik to be happy, and so far Emily, a kindhearted waitress who knows nothing about any of us, seems like she might be someone to give Fredrik that happiness. I choose not to believe Nora. Of course, in the back of my mind, I can’t help but wonder if she’s right. Because she usually is.
“What about you?” she asks.
“What about me?”
“Don’t you think your life would be easier if you didn’t let attachments get in the way?”
I think on it.
“Sometimes,” I answer, looking out the windshield, watching the double yellow lines get swallowed up by the hood of the car, because sometimes Nora tends to drive down the center of the road for some reason. “I know that attachments to people are a hindrance in this line of work, but I also think it’s a disadvantage not to be able to love and feel love.”
“Why?”
I pause, thinking about Victor, about Dina.
“Because I believe love makes a person stronger,” I answer.
I see Nora shake her head from the corner of my eye.
“Stronger?” she says. “No, Izabel, it’s exactly the opposite. To love someone is to take on the responsibility of keeping them safe, of worrying about them. It’s just a burden.”
“Well, I think you’re wrong,” I say. “To love someone means you have something in life to fight for, something to live for—I guess you wouldn’t know, you’ve never felt love, so you can’t possibly understand.”
I decide to leave it alone, concluding that there really is nothing more I can say to someone like Nora because she’s, in a sense, not as human as the rest of us.
But then she says, “I loved my sister,” and I swallow my thoughts.
“In fact,” she goes on, “I loved her for a long time before I knew that I was going to have to kill her because of my feelings for her. Live and learn—I’ll never make that mistake again.”
I smile over at her with a trace of sarcasm.
“You say that, Nora, but one day, you’ll see that I’m right—you