as the snarky comment rolls off her tongue. There’s a hesitation there. A desire to be wanted. A need to not hide for once in her life. And it only spurs me on.
“Or you could let down your guard for the night. Just this once. Hell, you might even like it.”
Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she watches me carefully, though I have no idea what she’s searching for. Maybe it’s a snide remark or a hint of sarcasm that she can use to lump me in with her brother and father. But I refuse to let her think I’m like them even if there’s no way for me to prove it without her trust.
My mouth tilts up on one side as I hold her stare, waiting for her to come to whatever conclusion she’s going to with the knowledge that I can’t change her mind. No one can.
“What are you thinking?” she asks after a few seconds of silence.
“That you’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met.”
With a relieved smirk, she licks her lips. “Does that bother you?”
I shake my head, my chest swelling with pride that she doesn’t bother to deny it. “No. I think it’s good to know what you want and that you don’t let yourself be swayed by the people around you.”
“Who says I don’t get swayed every once in a while?” she counters.
“Just a hunch.”
“Hmm,” she hums. “You don’t seem like someone who gets swayed too much, either.”
“I didn’t used to be,” I admit. “But now, I’m not so sure anymore. We’ve already discussed my recent predicaments that led me to an arranged marriage and a murky future––if I even have a future––in law enforcement so….”
“You were backed into a corner,” she murmurs quietly, though I’m not sure who she’s trying to convince. “I think those count as extenuating circumstances.”
“So you’re saying that it’s okay to give into peer pressure if you feel like you don’t have a choice?”
“I’m saying that not everything is black and white and that you should cut yourself some slack.”
My attention drops down to her flawless cheek. “Maybe you should take your own advice, Bianca. Cut yourself some slack and embrace the fact that you can still be fucking gorgeous even if you don’t look like all the average models in the magazines.”
“It’s different––”
“It isn’t. It makes you unique, Bianca. It makes you you. But, like I said”––I lean back to give her some space––“you’re not known for being swayed, so….”
Her almond-shaped eyes narrow into tiny slits. She knows I’m baiting her but surprises me when she announces, “You know what? Fine. I’ll take off my makeup if you’ll agree to cut yourself a little slack.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.” She stands up and takes a few steps toward the bedroom before turning on her heel to face me again. “And as for being in Kingston’s pocket, he’s not a bad guy. I mean, maybe by law enforcement standards he might be, but when it comes to real shit, he’s a good person to have on your team. I don’t think you’ll regret that connection.”
“I hope I won’t, either.”
Then she disappears down the hall while I try to cut myself some damn slack before realizing that’s a hell of a lot easier said than done.
21
Bianca
He’s already seen it.
He’s already seen it.
He’s already seen it.
I continue to chant the same four words over and over again as I grasp the door handle with sweaty hands while avoiding my reflection in the vanity mirror like it’s the plague. Rolling my shoulders back, I stride into the family room, then wait for the look of disgust to spark on Jack’s handsome face.
A bowl of popcorn rests in his lap as he flips through the channels on the television in search of something decent to watch. Or maybe he’s just searching for another mind-numbing basketball game. Regardless, he’s so immersed in his options that he doesn’t acknowledge my presence. Which leaves me awkwardly rocking back on my heels as I cross my arms defensively across my chest and wait for his judgment.
“So, when I said get comfortable, did you take that as an order to stand next to the couch instead of sitting your ass down on it?” Jack asks without bothering to look at me.
I clear my throat, then force myself to plop down next to him. “I didn’t know you were so bossy.”
“I didn’t know you were so uncomfortable relaxing with your husband,” he returns with a mischievous smirk.
Husband.
The word makes my heart skip