Kerry, but he didn’t know what to say, and she spoke again after an awkward pause.
‘I was thinking about Zara’s job offer,’ Kerry said. ‘It’s the right step for you. You should take it.’
‘What about the right step for us?’ James asked.
‘Sometimes … ’ Kerry began. ‘Sometimes I think I still love you as much as ever. But … ’
Kerry was saying nothing, but somehow James understood exactly what the but meant.
‘I don’t know how we got to this place,’ James said.
‘I think we should live our lives and see where we end up,’ Kerry said, sounding a little tearful.
‘Yeah,’ James said. ‘Well you at least try and have a good day, yeah? I’d better catch up with Lauren and the others. We’ve only got ten minutes to explore before Zara brings the next group in.’
34. BOXING
‘It’s kind of beautiful in the sunset,’ Ryan announced, as he turned slowly with arms held out wide.
Christmas Day sun was setting and the thick frost in the valley around the Kremlin had taken on an orange hue.
‘And the air’s so much better now. When the planes were coming in and out, you always had that petrol smell clinging to the back of your throat.’
While Ryan eulogised, Natalka stood a few steps further up the valley, wearing a scowl and a thick purple ski jacket. The end of her cigarette glowed red and smoke wafted from her nostrils as she spoke.
‘I’m freezing. Let’s go back.’
Ryan snorted. ‘We’ve barely walked a kilometre.’
‘And what’s gonna happen in the next kilometre?’ Natalka asked. ‘Will magic bunnies jump out of the snow and grant me three wishes? I don’t think so. I’ll just get more bored and more bloody cold.’
‘All right,’ Ryan said. He sounded annoyed, because although he was nuts about Natalka, when you did stuff with her you did what she wanted or nothing at all. ‘So we just go back to your room?’
‘The outdoors is shit,’ Natalka said, flicking her spent cigarette away. ‘I need a buzz. Get some booze, get shit-faced. Play max vol music until the neighbour bangs on the wall.’
Ryan laughed. ‘First off, the guy in the next room left for Uzbekistan two days ago. Second, don’t you ever worry about your drinking? The last time you got hammered, you almost got raped by Vlad.’
‘But you’ll protect me now,’ Natalka said, putting on a syrupy voice.
‘How do you know I won’t take advantage of you?’
‘You could have done that three nights ago,’ Natalka pointed out. ‘You’re a nice boy.’
‘You make nice sound like a bad thing,’ Ryan said, as Natalka came towards him.
‘I like guys who are a bit scary,’ Natalka said. ‘Danger turns me on.’
‘I did beat Vlad’s face in with a fire extinguisher,’ Ryan pointed out. ‘That wasn’t nice.’
‘True,’ Natalka said, rewarding Ryan with a kiss before setting off down the valley towards the Kremlin. ‘And I think it might be fate.’
‘What’s fate?’ Ryan asked.
‘Well, your dad died, then my mum got busted. And here we are, two little orphans with sod all except each other.’
Natalka was a couple of paces ahead and her bum looked great. Ryan wished it really was just the two of them. No plots or plans. Looking out for each other, instead of a relationship based on lies.
‘Maybe when I go back to my aunt in Russia you could come with me,’ Natalka said.
Ryan laughed. ‘I’m sure your aunt will love it when you rock up with a boyfriend. Besides, I’m Ukrainian. I wouldn’t be allowed to live in Russia.’
‘I hate my aunt,’ Natalka said. ‘I’m so pissed off that my mum wrote her a letter. She should have just left me here.’
‘I don’t wanna talk about going away,’ Ryan said, before giving Natalka an almighty two-handed shove into a bush at the side of the path.
‘AAARGH!’ Natalka screamed, as she emerged from tangled branches with snow melt running down her back and enormous wet patches around her knees. ‘Bastard! What was that for?’
‘Just being nice,’ Ryan said.
Natalka’s mock scowl and wagging finger made Ryan laugh. ‘I’ll get you for that, Ryan. When you’re least expecting it.’
‘Oh, I’m so scared,’ Ryan said.
‘You know what’d be cool?’ Natalka said. ‘We should go up to the fifth floor. Rob the shit out of Josef Aramov and then run away together. I bet he’s got Rolexes, and gold, and stuff.’
‘You’re crazy,’ Ryan scoffed. ‘The Aramovs own every cop within fifty kilometres. We’d be lucky to last an hour before Aramov security tracked us down, beat the living shit