it was nothing.
“Not yet,” I answered, pushing past the guys and heading for the kitchen. They followed after me as I continued. “I’m hoping if she sees I’ve got a space set up for him, she’ll finally start softening to the idea. In the meantime, I want to have something ready for when or if it finally happens.”
I dumped the rest of the beer down the sink and tossed the bottle in the trash. Moving to the fridge, I pulled out three waters and passed them out before bracing my hands on the island and looking across to where they sat on the new stools I’d purchased a couple weeks back. My house was still a work in progress, but it was finally starting to come together. It was nice and big with four bedrooms, a separate study, a huge kitchen, and three and a half baths. I’d purchased it with every intention of eventually moving Shane and Brantley in with me so we could make it a home together. For now, it was just a sad, pathetic excuse of a crash pad with empty rooms and bare-bones furniture. I was still sleeping on a mattress on the floor of the master bedroom, for Christ’s sake.
“So I take it you didn’t use the wedding as an opportunity to finally hash shit out?” Gage asked.
In the time I’d been back, I’d been trying to have the talk with Shane we so desperately needed to have, only she’d avoided me at every turn, making it damn near impossible. If it didn’t directly involve our son, she didn’t want to have a fucking thing to do with me, and she made that clear. With her uncle and her goddamn beast of a brother always standing between me and the woman I wanted, I barely got the chance to look at her, let alone talk to her.
The wedding was supposed to change all of that. It was going to be my chance to finally apologize for leaving her, a chance to beg and plead if I needed to. But more, it was supposed to be my chance to get some answers of my own. The questions I needed to ask had been plaguing me since the second I set foot back inside this town.
There were so many things I didn’t understand, and she was the only person who could sort that out for me . . . if she’d just talk to me.
“Didn’t work out the way it was supposed to,” I grumbled, the plastic of the water bottle crinkling beneath my grip as my fingers tightened.
If I was being honest, it hadn’t worked out because I’d fucked it all up. At first I hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything but how good it felt to hold her in my arms again. Seeing her in that bridesmaid dress had been a shock to my system. The way the long, flowing, copper-colored strapless dress hugged her had me fighting against getting hard the entire night. It was like being a teenager all over again with no control over my erections.
Back when we were together, I’d known every inch of her soft, silky skin, every dip and swell. I’d memorized it so well I could draw up the image of her any time I needed it, which had been a lot over the years. Time and motherhood had changed her body. Her stomach was once again flat, but her curves were more pronounced, her breasts were fuller, her hips wider, making her waist look even tinier.
Once I’d finally gotten a hold of myself and was able to talk without risk of my dick trying to bust through my pants, I’d messed it up by being an asshole. I said the absolute wrong thing, making anger and sadness spark behind those sweet amber eyes. I fucking hated myself for being the reason for that look on her face. If I’d had any doubts before, that confrontation had cleared them right up. She hated me in the most profound and absolute way. The pain of that realization was so stark, so extreme, that it was a wonder I hadn’t started bleeding out right there on the dance floor.
“Christ, Jens. We’ve been here over four months,” Gage stated, like I didn’t already know that.
I looked to my friend, a scowl firmly in place. “You stating the obvious for a reason, or just to annoy the shit out of me?”
“You gotta stop waiting for a situation to present itself