up anymore.
I can’t carry the weight of the decisions I was forced to make in the weeks leading up to my abduction and torture.
I collapse into him and start sobbing.
I couldn’t let go of this dam when my mom was here. I couldn’t cry even when I wanted to but now, in the arms of the guy who broke my heart and has said the most hurtful things to me, I cry my heart out.
I can hear him whispering unintelligible things in my ear; that I’m safe, that nothing and no fucking one will touch me now, that he’s here now and he’ll take care of it all.
And I… like a broken puppet with issues deeper than still waters in an enchanted forest, I cling to him with all my strings and the shredded material of my heart.
I’m probably squeezing him too hard, but he doesn’t show it. He just holds me to him, stroking my back soothingly, intentionally, and somehow, in my anguish, he manages to do the almost impossible: arouse me.
Heat floods to my core as intense arrows of arousal shoot straight at my core. The ministration of his fingers has intent, an intent to seduce and my God, it’s working.
I can feel the lust and need in me awakening, and suddenly, I know what I was looking for when he touched me and I hugged him to me without another thought and so does he as he starts stroking me from my hair to my ass through the hospital gown.
As always, he knows how to read me like a fucking book and I react, showing him where all the secrets are and the parts of me that only he has touched to give off this kind of reaction.
He feels the change in me, the confused hunger in me and like a grand puppet master, he lets it grow, adding more kindling to the fire as he does.
First, it’s the open-mouthed kisses to my shoulder as he strokes me and I cling to him, desperate to touch him some more, to kiss him but I hold back, my eyes rolling closed as I feel his fingers on my ass, rubbing each cheek slowly, carefully, seductively, I groan.
At the back of my mind, I know this is wrong, but in just a few seconds, I feel his hardness under me and just like the afternoon on the white sandy beaches of Spain, I can’t help but start to slowly move over him, with trails of tears still wet on my cheeks.
“Julian, I can’t…” I can’t do much because of the pain.
“Shh, no one owns you but me,” Julian says so softly, reaching for my hip with a firm grip. A violent shiver moves through me at those words. He sounds so calm, so in control but I know better. “You’re mine, Mia.”
“Julian,” I whisper, kissing his chest, over his bandages, his shoulders, any part of him that I can reach, I kiss him with open mouthed kisses as my hips do a sensual dance that’s out of my control.
“Nobody can touch this,” he growls, then I feel his hand grip my hip. “It’s just me.”
“Yes.”
“You want me, don’t you?”
I can’t deny it at all as my moans become a little bit louder and a lot heavier. It’s not ideal, what we’re doing, me dry humping him in our state, but I can’t stop. I need this. I need the connection. I need to erase what happened to me…
“Julian, please,” I moan. He flexes his fingers at my hip, holding me tighter and pulling me down over his hard cock some more and fuck!
The friction is so freaking delicious, as if grief and the pleasure-pain of his touch can pull the sweetest orgasm from between my legs.
“Fuck, I need to be inside you, baby,” Julian growls roughly.
Shit. The things he says sometimes and the intent in his eyes.
“Julian, I don’t think I can…”
“I’m aching but there’ll be a time for that soon,” he whispers. “For now, let me make you feel me.”
I feel him, everywhere. His breath in me, his heart beating against my chest, his body taking all the weight of mine. He’s all I want. All I can think about.
“Hold on, baby.”
Without warning, he has my hospital gown loose at the back and then his hand slips in at my bunched up gown.
Before I can think better of this, before I can so much as think that someone might come in, I feel his fingers boldly push my