fear too much. Fear never lived inside me as it does now.”
“You were never afraid?” I can’t begin to fathom living a life without fear—fear of others, fear of failure, fear of the unknown. My list goes on and on.
“For my people, my soldiers, and my friends, yes. But for me? No. Now that I have you. Now that you are my heart, I am afraid all the time.”
“You don’t have to be afraid for me.”
“I can’t stop. Because if I were ever to lose you …” He buries his face in my hair. “I couldn’t survive it.”
Did I say I wanted to go home? To return to my college dorm room with the Hot Pockets and the bitch roommate? Because right now, I don’t want any of that. I want the fae standing in front of me. The one who’s baring everything, inside and out.
I step back, though the haunted look in his eyes almost breaks me. “Get in the tub.”
His face brightens, his eyebrows rising. “Do you mean—”
“Get in before I change my mind. And no funny business!”
He smiles, and my sweet stars, I can’t seem to feel my toes. Does he have a clue how gorgeous he is?
With preternatural quickness, he settles in the tub, his thick arms lying along the sides.
I fiddle with the hem of my shirt. “Don’t look, okay?”
The smile dims a bit, but he turns his head as requested. I strip down quickly and climb into the tub. The water is amazing, so warm that it almost burns. I moan as I sink down, and he pulls me so my back rests against his chest. But there’s something else lurking beneath the water.
“Um, your uh, you’ve got a … It’s kind of pressing against my … Never mind.” I turn crimson and not just from the heat.
“My apologies, little one.” He doesn’t sound the least bit apologetic. “I can control many things, but that is beyond even my magical abilities.”
A thought rebels against me, careening around my mind and whispering, “Imagine how good that would feel inside you.” I bite my lip and reach for one of the blue soaps next to the tub.
“I said I would clean you, my mate.” He grabs it with his big paws and begins to lather it up between them. “Relax. Ease your mind. I agreed there would be no amusing business, and I meant it.”
“Funny business.”
“Yes, like I said.” He scoops water into my hair with one hand.
I sigh and close my eyes. When he begins to massage the soap into my strands, I let myself go, resting against him as he meticulously rubs my scalp, washing away the worries of the road and our most recent life-or-death skirmish.
“I keep thinking about when I first saw you.” His voice rumbles through the water.
“When I was terrified?”
“You were, yes. But magnificent all the same.”
“That’s a new one. I don’t think anyone has ever called me ‘magnificent.’”
“Why did you surround yourself with fools on earth?”
I laugh. “I think you are overestimating me just a bit.”
Strong hands grab me and turn me around until Leander and I are face to face. His is stern, but there is a softness to his eyes. I’ve never seen him bestow that look on anyone else but me.
“You are far more remarkable than you give yourself credit for. Beautiful, strong, intelligent, an alchemist, no less. You are a queen. I knew it from the moment I saw you. I felt it.”
My voice sticks in my throat, and all I can manage is a soft “oh.”
“Why do you feel less than you are?”
I shrug, feeling exposed in every way possible. “I guess I just… I’m not special.”
“Who told you that?”
“I don’t know.” I do know. “People, you know?”
“Who?” The warmth in his dark eyes turns steely. “Who said such things to you?”
My mother. Steve. I try to banish the thought of him.
“What was that?”
“What?”
“I could feel your fear.” He tilts my chin up so I have to meet his direct gaze. “Why are you scared?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.” I try to turn around, but he doesn’t let me go.
“Did someone hurt you?” His face turns stony. “Tell me who hurt you. I will find them, and I will make them pay.”
I reach up and run my thumb down his cheek. “You really would do that, wouldn’t you? For me?”
“I would do anything for you.” He says it with such clarity, as if it’s as simple as ‘water is wet’.
“Someone did hurt