wasn’t in thrall; I was wondering if I’d pegged her right, if she was the kind of woman who wore her tennis dress everywhere, to the market or a parent-teacher conference. Tinsley was becoming like that, I’d noticed; always dressed in warm-ups, looking like she was going to, or coming from, something sweaty.
When I returned home, I soaked in Epsom salts, and as soon as I got out of the tub, Tinsley called to ask if Ellie could come tonight instead of Saturday and I said certainly, of course.
“Whatever happened to you the other night?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You were nearly an hour late picking up Ellie.”
“Oh, Ann, I told you I wouldn’t be there until close to nine.”
“You did not,” I said, but my voice wavered. Might she have?
“Sure, I did. We’re going to have to get you a BlackBerry, Ann, to keep track of your appointments.”
I shuddered at the thought.
“Anyway, Ellie’s very excited to tell you her new theme.”
“Oh, she found one, did she?”
“How could you not? That was a treasure trove of material. And I imagine I haven’t seen the half of it.”
“Did you…” The words caught in my throat. “…help her? At all?”
“God no. She rejects all my ideas out of hand.”
I smiled. “She knows what she’s after, I suppose. You’re like that, too, dear.”
“Am I?”
“I think so. You had no trouble decorating your house, or choosing china. I remember how I struggled when I was a young bride. Not you.”
“Well, Ellie’s a lot like Tom, too. Speaking of which, he’ll drop her off, okay?”
When Tom and Ellie arrived at seven that night, he looked exhausted, and I told him so, in no uncertain terms. He said he’d worked late all week on a big case, and I frowned. I hated the thought of Tom working himself into the ground, like Theo. He hunched his shoulders, making himself small, as if he didn’t fit, and was suddenly uncomfortable in the home he’d grown up in.
Ellie hung up her coat and carried her tote bag to the dining room table, where I’d set out a plate of pigs in blankets from the farmers’ market, along with ramekins of ketchup and mustard.
“People with a history of heart disease in the family shouldn’t work so hard, Tom.”
“I know, Mother.”
“Your family needs you far more than any of your clients.”
“Most clients don’t even like me,” he sighed. “I’m the one always forced to tell them the truth.”
“Well, I like you,” I said, patting his arm. “I’m sure you deliver bad news exceedingly well.” The first threads of gray were showing at his ears, and that made me feel older than any creak of my bones. That my children could be old. Were old.
“I like you, too, Daddy,” Ellie called out from the next room.
“Thanks, sweetie,” he said.
“What time should I come back for Ellie? Can’t be too late. We have an ice-skating lesson in the morning. Dads and daughters.”
“That sounds like good fun. I didn’t know you still skated, Tom-o.”
“Don’t want to waste my skills since I learned from the best,” he said, and I blushed with pride. I’d skated backward for a week, pulling his arms, urging him to move his legs one at a time. My back ached just remembering it. He did learn, and he stayed in figure skates with his old mother long enough to start skating backward, and then he heard the siren call of hockey. I drove him to the rink at 5 a.m. every Tuesday and Thursday for years, but I can’t recall ever skating with him after that.
“Well, why don’t I drop her at home later? You and Tinsley relax for a change.”
“Oh, Tinsley won’t be home. She’s playing squash.”
“At night?”
“Surely you’ve heard of electricity, Mother.”
“Don’t the two of you do anything in tandem?”
“Oh, you know Tinsley. She’s got a schedule and she sticks to it.”
“Yes, I suppose. But you need to have some fun once in a while. Let loose. Go dancing.”
He did a quick tap dance on the floor and I laughed.
“Well,” I said, “you relax then, sweetheart. I’ll drop her at home.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded and told him I’d have Ellie home between 8:30 and 9:00. That’s what I remember: 8:30 or 9:00.
Ellie ate the little hot dogs with great care—small bites, plenty of chewing. She used her napkin properly, to dab, not to wipe. Then she asked me if I was going to eat anything, and I recognized at once the combination of politeness and longing. I