able to understand that, but he died two months before the accident, so why then? Was I somewhere partying and there was something urgent, so I had to drive? I wasn’t even . . . I mean, the last that I recall, I’d cut out most of the partying. I was trying to get my life sorted, straighten up. So why then? I just don’t get it. But the facts are clear.” He waved a hand at the folder. “I’m not trying to make excuses. I did it. The test results don’t lie. And I have to live with that for the rest of my life.”
He sounded so dejected, I couldn’t bear it. I got up and went around the desk. I pushed my way into his lap, ignoring the stiffness of his arms. After a moment, he wrapped his arms around me. “How can you bear to touch me?”
“Stop it. I don’t hate you,” I said, leaning my head on his shoulder.
But I was troubled. It didn’t sit right with me. Not only because it didn’t seem like Aaron—not that it was impossible he’d done something crazy that one terrible night. But it didn’t seem in character. And also the articles I’d read about his accident didn’t mention another car.
Had that information been held back from the press deliberately? Or had his dad’s company paid to put the kibosh on that story? Sheesh. How much power and money would that take? Bribes to the cops? It was confusing.
“Okay. Let’s just think about this,” I said, trying to look at it logically. “You don’t remember anything from that night? Not even a flash or impression or anything?”
“Nothing.”
“But we do know that you were high that night, according to the lab tests. And you were alone in your car even though you normally wouldn’t drive under the influence. So the circumstances must have been extraordinary. Have you talked to the police? Do you know where you were that night? Who you were with? They might have interviewed your friends. Maybe they could tell you what happened.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said stubbornly.
“Of course it matters. Don’t you want to know?”
He frowned. “The accident happened in Benedict Canyon. That place is filled with celebrity mansions. I could have been at a party at any of those places. I’d partied there a dozen times. Or I could have been driving through on my way back to Bel Air from somewhere like Sherman Oaks.”
“Okay. So you were there often. But not driving stoned, right?”
He blinked at me. “Never,” he whispered.
“Well then. It’s worth finding out what was going on that night.”
He thought about it, and I could tell he was taking the idea seriously. I rubbed the back of his neck. But he finally shook his head. “I’d have to talk to the police. And I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because . . .” he hesitated, as if ashamed. “Because they don’t know that I’ve recovered as much as I have. If they knew, they might press charges.” He gave me a sideways glance. “I don’t want to go to jail. I don’t want to be the butt of the media worldwide, tarnish my father’s legacy, hurt his company. I’ve been advised that it’s best to lay low. I can’t resume my life anyway, looking like this, being a physical wreck. So this is all there is. Malfleur is all there is. You probably think I’m a disgusting coward as well as a killer. But if I have to go to prison, I’d just as soon lock myself up somewhere where there are no cameras.”
So he’d sentenced himself, was punishing himself. For God’s sake.
I turned his chin to make him look at me. “Okay. First off, none of that is true. You’re not disgusting, you’re not a physical wreck, you’re not a coward, and you’re no killer. Listen to me, Aaron. You’re a good, kind, thoughtful person.”
He snorted in disbelief.
“You are!” I insisted angrily. “When I picked that rose, you could have just yelled at me and sent me on my way.”
He glowered at me. “I was trying to punish you.”
“Some punishment! When I said I needed a job, you offered me one at a better hourly rate than I’d make in town. “
“I had no idea what the going rate was in town,” Aaron said dismissively.
“And even that first day I worked here,” I went on, ignoring him, “you brought me water and lunch.”
He grumbled that he’d thought I was too stupid to bring my